egafd.com

"Dear Mrs Magoo, I will contact you in the future immediate once I have
spoken to and with my Manager, who is devastated for your loss. My name
is Jim [and not Surinder at all, oh no no please your highness]. As I have
said previously in the past we will slaughter a cow.... no, bugger, be very
very sorry if we cannot attend to your woe in a year or so".

E,h.....Indian take away,s selling dell,s...wtf are you pissed?

Have you seen the new smilies??? i,m sending you one, let me see if I can get it reet...!cunt! there that should be it.
Oh! I,m very happy for your new purchase, it;s about time that sinclair spectrum was laid to rest, welcome to the 21st century, and dont forget me trollet,s for the weekend th,as just a ballbag..

No I am a fuckface, but I still need me kecks for saturday night....

But there doesn't seem to be one for falling over legless and smacking a
policeman in the puss, spending 8 hours in a cell and the getting a Caution
for decking the Desk-Sergeant.

Uk Energy writes:
Last night Mr Lizard's kecks were placed in an isolation-chamber and the
level-three emergency protocols initiated, as it was thought that they had
undergone spontaneous gravitational collapse.
It was later established that this 'pants-quake' was merely a result of some
particularly nasty Vindaloo, for which we have apologised to the Indian
Ambassador.

!falling over legless and smacking a
policeman in the puss, spending 8 hours in a cell and the getting a Caution
for decking the Desk-Sergeant!

there ya go mate..