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I dont think I am but how would you face being given this news?Every day many people are and I know people who have been.One was a beautiful girl of 23 who went to her doctor with a stomach ache.She went in to hospital and they opened her up and basically told her that there was nothing they could do.She died a few months later.I fel sorry for cancer doctors who have to deliver this news as part of their job.They must have stories to tell.Every reader of this thread will die one day and we all hope for a painless one.Unfortunately the reality is quite different.How do love ones cope?Sorry to be bleak but this subject is not one I see talked about a lot and I would appreciate any insights?

From the moment we take our first breath of air we are dying.

Personally I'd rather not know in advance when my time is due... let it just happen. If I were "terminally ill" I'd rather not be told "you have x amount of time left"

Bloody hell, what a somber mood, mm!

I've always felt more sorry for the loved ones left behind. We never experience our own death, but have to cope with plenty of others peoples.

One of my uncles died 3 weeks ago, leaving 2 grown sons and a wife. 300 people turned up to the funeral. he was just an average working class man, with a modest home, but everyone liked him. Always making people laugh etc. All those people turning up just reinforced the belief that, in the end, it doesn't matter how successful you are in life, or what car you drive. When you're gone people will only remember who you are. Your laugh, habits and attitude is all that counts. The promotion you achieved, or swanky car will not even cross your friends & families minds.

I hope you're not asking this question because your in bad health yourself MM?

Two years ago my mother was diagnosed wth cancer of the oesophagus and we were told that she would probably only have 12 to 18 months left to live. She died just over a year ago now, once we got over the initial shock of what the doctor had told us we said ok we now know what we are dealing with so lets make the best of what time we have left together.
The worst part is watching someone who was active and fun loving slowly waste away in front of your eyes and you know that there is nothing you can do except be there for them.

Sam,
No think all's OK!

Well, all within the past 5 months, one of my best mates (aged 55) has had a near-fatal stroke (thankfully now on the road to recovery, but it'll be a long one), another friend (also 55) has been diagnosed with oesophogal cancer (outlook bleak) and my ex-girlfriend (aged just 41) has had breast cancer (one breast removed, the other to follow prophylactically) and has been told that due to various factors she has a less than 70% chance of surviving the next 10 years.

I'm 44 myself now (not old, but no longer the first flush of youth either) and all this has really put things into perspective. I've always (for better or worse!) had a "live for today" philosophy", but it's been reinforced even more now. It's also encouraged me to check that all my insurances etc. are well in order!

- Eric

Agree with Bob lets live one day at a time.

>it doesn't matter how successful you are in life, or what car you drive. When you're gone people will only remember who you are.


I remember seeing a sign on someone's desk at work a couple of years ago.

It said:

On their death bed, few people say "on the whole I wish I had spent more time at the office"

had a cancer scare myself a few years ago, gp was hopeless, eventually got a consultant appointment 9 months later, he took one look at me and admitted me to A&E straight away.
after a couple of weeks and loads of tests they came back and said 'we think you've got lymphoma, had to get my chest opened to take some out to biopsy them
Turned out not to be lymphoma but something rarer which they can't cure but may go away but still has a small chance of killing me, still ongoing treatment
really makes you think about your own mortality and whats important

Not sure whats worse to be honest. My Father was diagnosed with Lung Cancer and told he had about a year. The doctors were spot on to within a few weeks, we had to watch a fit guy who regularly cycled 100 miles on a Sunday decline slowly. So while we were prepared as we knew it was coming it was hard to watch.

However just today a girl who works in another office to me but for the same company received a phone call. She was told her husband, of one year, had fallen off a roof at work and was dead, he was in his mid 20's. As is she.

How on earth does someone cope with the sudden shock of that!!

Defies belief