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Technical Support Query

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinkingmates 4.2 which I had used for years without any problems.

However there are apparently conflicts with these two products and the only solution was to run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications such as Ladsnightout 3.1, Football 4.5 and Playboy 6.9 Successive versions of Girfriend have proved no better.

I tried a shareware program Slapper 2.1 but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system forcing me to shut down for several weeks.

Eventually I tried to run Girfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time but when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware. I upgraded to Fiancee 1.0 only to discover that this soon had to be upgraded to Wife 1.0.

Whilst Wife 1.0 tends to use up all of my available resources it does come with Cookingplus and Cleanhouse 2008.

Shortly after this upgrade I found Wife 1.0 was unstable and costly to run, any mistakes I made were stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted, Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly needing Shoeshop Browser and Hairstyle Express, When wife 1.0 interfaces with my Saab 93 Convertible Hard Drive it regularly crashes it. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop up called Mother-In-Law.

Recently I have been tempted to try and install Mistress 2008 to alleviate my problems with wife 1.0 but if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2008 it tends to delete all of your money before permanently uninstalling itself.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Ah an oldie but goodie, as is this version of technical support:

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that takes up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and fishing 7.5 and racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can?t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I?m thinking about going back to girlfriend 7.0 but the uninstall doesn?t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Troubled User


Dear Troubled User
This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is just a utility and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run EVERYTHING! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application yes dear to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program; it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as clean and sweep 3.0, Cook it 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!!

WARNING!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstance, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.