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I got a great idea when producing a adult dvd. Have three soundtracks.

1. The actual soundtrack of the film.
2. Have a classical music soundtrack, so your neighbours think you've gone intellectual.
3. Have a chinese kung-fu soundtrack, so you can watch quality porn whilst keeping fit at the same time.

What does everyone else think.

Great idea kid. Come and work for me. You can make the tea and empty the bins.

Or failing that, have some talentless types who can look good while miming to the soundtrack and dance badly along to it.

Sorry, Pete. You've already done that a couple of hundred times.

I just let the natural sound rip. My neighbours must think I am a reet proper perv. But so what fuck em. I have to tolerate the sound of Brookside from them so I get my revenge by watching hard porn at full volume on a saturday morning. That should wake the miserable Meldrew bastards up. They are the sort of twats who worry if a crisp packet blows into the area. Crazy considering a bloke was stabbed to death in the street in full view of others at 3 o`clock in the afternoon just round the corner last week and these idiots are fussing about litter and cigarettes. Sad bastards. One of them complained that some of my dogs hair was lying around! Not shite just a bit of hair. Cock-heads. What empty lives they must lead if sweet wrappers and dog hairs worry them more than street stabbings in the middle of the afternoon.

Thought I best add an o/t to the header.

I also had neighbours like yours, magoo. Watching hardcore porn at a time you know they are needing sleep is a sure form of revenge. Just make sure they don't send round Officer Dibble, like mine did for me. They had a good search, but only found the whole thing to be quite amusing. Bastards.

message to magoo and matt i agree with you bth.

Don't forget the sign on the front door

No usual 'do not disturb' but......'orgy in progress'

cheers
B...OZ

Porn should be viewed on a 54" plasma screen with maximum sonority, cigs and beer by your side, a good stock of tissues
and an Indian takeaway balanced on your lap. It also help to turn all the phones off and tell your nieghbours your having a party. film sessions should last approx 15hrs or until your knob
caves in, whichever is the sooner.

natural sound is best - I love Faye Ramptons comments in Hard Day At The Orifice !!!

A great idea, if you miss out 2) (unless it's Mahler perhaps), and 3) (exercise horizontally, or go to yoga instead- or even the pub).