egafd.com

I saw recently that you said the last UK shags title (missing from my January order) has been posted, but I haven't recieved mine yet, any news guys? thanks

The outstanding UKS titles have all gone. They went in the post Wed-Fri last week. I wouldn't be unduly concerned at this stage as my own experience, plus the anecdotal evidence of colleagues, suggests that the post can nowadays be somewhat erratic - It may arrive next day, when you expected it to take 2-3 days. On the other hand it has been known to take a fortnight on the very same service!

But, that?s by the by, because although our records indicate that you did make a purchase in mid January, that purchase does not appear to be for UK Shags titles. Could this be a case of crossed wires?

If you?d care to e-mail me privately with details of you January order I?ll try and reconcile those details with the data we have on our files so that we can move forward and sort this thing out.

Which leads me onto a related subject - ?Orphaned Orders?

Orphaned orders are a poignant mail order phenomenon where punters are apparently so eager to acquire merchandise in general - and Horny Harry?s well cushty videos in particular - that in their frantic excitement they omit to fill in the Name and Address section of their order forms! In about 75% of instances Officer Dibble?s internationally acclaimed and celebrated detective instincts are enough to reveal the identity and location of the absent minded punter, and all will be made well behind the scenes. But there are certain configurations of order where it is impossible to deduce anything about the identity of the sender. These are then ?Orphaned Orders.? Their destiny to sit unseen, in quite repose, and wait at the back of the office cabinet, day upon day, week upon week, in porno limbo - A melancholy twilight world part way between yeaning and unfulfilled desire. Waiting for some anxious owner to report them missing. Waiting, quite often forever.

Oh, of course sometimes there?s a happy ending. When a punter writes in after a couple of months with a robustly worded letter suggesting that we have ?ripped him off.? If we can then match what he claims to have ordered with an orphaned order in the relevant timeframe a happy reunion and red-faced punter is in the offing. But for the most part we don?t hear another peep. It?s a crying shame because some of these orders are obviously from very good homes (?200.00+) Maybe most punters are to timid and don?t like confrontation or fuss, so they quietly resolve never to order from HCC (or similar) again, because we ?ripped them off.? Maybe if they are a bit lairier they will tell their pals, peers and colleagues that HCC never sent them their order and swear an oath that we are crooks. The irony is that they are the authors of their own misfortune; it is they who have fucked the job up themselves.

The lesson of this sorry tale is always to ensure that all the requisite details for safe dispatch of your adult movie order are present, correct and legible on the order form and that before jumping to conclusions you should stop, think, and try to be rational.

The tale of the Orphaned Orders is not aimed at Arnold, but his case did put it in mind. It?s something I have intended taking about for a while but never got round to finding the appropriate space or time to share it.



P R Mann

I must say the "The Mann" dealt with my problem pomptly once I e mailed him, and it was very late, look foward to getting the shags tape, cheers

It's always someone else's fault, isn't it?
The poor (and now apparently illiterate and unable to remember his own details) punter/DVD supplier/VHS supplier/subcontractor/Hitler/lack of breastfeeding.......

Well it seems I put my name and address down as I got all the uk shags tapes I sent off for on the 4th april yesterday morning, so thank you P.R. Mann.

Don't mention it. All part of the service pevian.


P R Mann

No. 212 in your (HCC) cat. is titled "sex in public places" .

The 1st part of which is the "s.i.p.p's 2" listed in bgafd.

do you have any of the others, listed in bgafd ?

I do seem to recall aquiring a few sex in public scenes from 'Jok' - who was Vinnie Curran's partner in crime at Heathrow. These got edited into various HCC specials. Though I'm afraid after the past 4-5 years it's all gone a bit hazy as to which specials they got edtited into. But, on a more positive note, all the specials are still available and the older ones are on special offer for a limited period.

Sorry I can't be more precise.

P R Mann

P R Mann wrote:

> I do seem to recall aquiring a few sex in public scenes from
> 'Jok' - who was Vinnie Curran's partner in crime at Heathrow.
> These got edited into various HCC specials. Though I'm afraid
> after the past 4-5 years it's all gone a bit hazy as to which
> specials they got edtited into. But, on a more positive note,
> all the specials are still available and the older ones are on
> special offer for a limited period.
>
> Sorry I can't be more precise.
>
> P R Mann

Thanks anyway.
"s.i.p.p's 1" is taking on holy grail proportions ......
until,of course, someone says "what r u on about, it's sold here".
Btw, s.i.p.p's 2 is appallingly filmed -even allowing for the circumstances.
But it is strangely compulsive.