paul daniels?

[jj]

He's now the President of Kiribati, I believe.

[joe king]

what's the classic line, 'What first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels'?

[steve56]

can i phone a friend?[money]

[jj]

Yes, but no coughing.

[buttsie]

What about Boy George?

Now thats unattractive but cultured

cheers
B....OZ

[jj]

No, I think he's President of Tuvalu.

[buttsie]

Interesting atlas you have young man

Strange names....wrong planet i assume

Men being form Mars and all

cheers
B...OZ

[Xtlcrzwdljc of the Martian...]

I can assure all Earthlings that the animals you call 'men' do not live here.
For your information, we are far more advanced than those primitive creatures, having three sexes, Multiple-entry Bookkeeping and absolutely no rice-pudding.
Our physical form is somewhat similar to those terrestrial forms you call
'lizards', which I assume by analogy must be the highest form of life on your benighted planet.
In the distant past we did consider invading Earth and destroying you utterly, but then one of our astro-nutritionists discovered a planet with an extremely productive rice-pudding mine, so we couldn't be arsed.

[Giles]

Toxic Thatcherite bastard. Hope he DIES!!!

[Lizard]

You got that right, er Xtlcrzwdljc we also drink tea and have sex with larger creatures than ourselves, these are called women,such things are not beneath us, there usually on top, these,we call girls, it,s strange hear, but I like it, say hello to my relatives and keep the faith.
ps. dont bother invading this place, it,s already been done.