The Legal System Today...

[Lizard]

You may be right maggs, maybe I was being a bit lenient with the structure of my proposed sentencing, I,ll think about it over me tea, corned beef hash and beetroot, if yer interested, and you probably are.
btw I forgot to mention being caught in possesion of someone elses tele and video.
Instant harpooning up the arse x 3, and no food for a year.

[Ace]

Shaun till be happy with that as some toe-rag half-inched his PC

[jj]

Being a not very funny comedian (e.g. Baddiel and that other bloke): Hanging, Drawing and Quartering, followed by a Jolly Good telling-off and no supper.
But then I'm a moderate.......

[Caractacus]

The prisons would be overcrowded with the Tarbies, Davidsons, etc of this world. Unfunny comedians should be locked in a big room, and told the only survivor will be released. After a few days of live entertainment on the telly (sorry, Sky outbid the Beeb for viewing rights), the "winner" can be taken out . . . . and shot. Unless it's Baddiel (pretty unlikely scenario), in which case he'd undergo acupuncture with six-inch nails and a sledgehammer.