Porn Addiction?

[Deuce Bigolo]

Your in big trouble

4...and 3 of those were iffies

Its amusing how they only equate sexual addiction to Porn

Then in the same breathe sprout that as long as your married you can have as much sex as you like....

So whats the difference to jacking off every day or having real sex in a relationship everyday

Either situation could be classed as an addiction IMHO

Hypocrisy at its best

cheers
B....OZ

[jj]

Amazingly enough for me, 6 (and 4 were pretty iffy, due to the restrictive nature of the q's).
Apparently it's OK to be addicted to Proper Sex (like poor old Mike Douglas, my heart bleeds for him), just not seedy ole porn.

[Deuce Bigolo]

I have the same experiences with chocolate,icecream,alcohol,internet surfing etc etc etc

Its called bingeing and its definitely not an addiction IMHO

cheers
B....OZ

[jj]

A Doctor writes:
"Vell, dis patient, he ist clearly zuffering from both ze sugarrr, and ze technology, addictions, nichtwahr?
Ja: undso, ve must immediately recommend ze very verry extensive und comprehensive Schmidt-Kleinenachtmusik Thomas-Beecham Kleinwort-Benson Total Detoxification Course (available only from my office, ein grosser snip at $400.00, plus VAT and Airport Tax), the vich vill him all better again be soon making, and back boffink der nicer Frauleinen and zer knittink of der kangaroo jumpers, ja? Undso".

[Guilbert]

I like this question:

>Do you look at pornography or masturbate while driving?

Can someone tell me how you look at pornography while driving ?

also

>Do you drive around unfamiliar neighborhoods (cruise) hoping to find places where pornography is available?

I have regularly done this. Often when going to a new country or town on business I would try to find shops or cinemas showing or selling porn.

Guilbert

[Guilbert]

>I feel your problem is not the porn, but your own guilt.

I dont think my family was repressed, but we certainly never talked about sex and bodily functions.

When I started getting 'interested' in sex I certainly felt guilty about it and could not bring myself to talk to my parents about it, and this guilt has carried on through my life.

I think that people who 'lose' themselves in porn are similar to people who lose themselves in drink or drugs, it is often an inability to cope with the real world.

There is a film 'Days of Wine and Roses' (Jack Lemmon/Lee Remmick) about both of them becoming alcoholics (powerful film by the way).

At the end of the film they are both staring into the water in San Francisco bay. He has kicked the booze, but she cannot or will not. He asks why and she says that when she stares into the water she does not see the sun reflecting on it, but the rubbish under the water, and the oil floating on top.

She drinks to hide the fact that she cannot cope with the real world. I think many people lose themselves in porn because they also cannot cope with the real world (heavy eh!)

Guilbert

[jj]

Guilbert wrote:
> Can someone tell me how you look at pornography while driving ?

Very, very carefully.

[jj]

The last part of that post sounded uncomfortably like a sufferer wishing, or believing, that everyone else shares his problem: a coping-strategy, if ever there was one.
Alcoholics often see alcohol-addiction in others, where there may in fact be none to see. On the other hand, they are presumably also better at spotting the signs, or incipient signs, in others.......

[Bruce Barnard]

Seems like I opened a can of worms.

I fully understand that some folk may identify with the character in the extract, the question though is why? Who sets the agenda that makes you feel guilty that you like porn? Society deems my love of a well loaded bong problematic, but it doesn't stop me saying 'fuck em'' and sparking up.

Thanks for your honesty regardless.

As for twelve step programs to 'free people of addiction to porn' here follows a further extract which tends to sum up my feelings:

"Twelve Steps to Chasity"
Extract from 'Flesh Trade: Inside the UK Sexual Underground (Critical Vision Books)

"Which reminds me, let?s go through the steps and evaluate their practical worth for a low threshold self abuser like myself. The key to succeeding within the rigidly defined parameters of the twelve step program, is denying that human beings have any inbuilt sense of control.

You must stand in front of an audience of your peers and loudly proclaim: ?I am a puppet under the control of a higher spiritual force, be it God, Allah, Buddha, Jimmy Saville or any number of obscure Hindu monkey gods.?

You must destroy any concept of ego, self control, personal power or self responsibility if you are to become clean. An even simpler way to describe the process is to keep repeating ?It?s not my fault.? Personally I?ve always respected good old fashioned Dunkirk spirit. Keeping your problems to yourself. Never washing your dirty laundry in public. Whilst some people see a man bursting into tears as a sign of emotional literacy, I tend to become socially embarrassed.

Once, during my monthly session with my good natured, but often way off the mark psychotherapist. I situation I was forced into by my employer because of a day job which involved dishing out syringes to heroin injectors. I couldn?t help noticing that he appeared to be racking his brains in a desperate bid to offer me a blinding insight into the human condition. I?d been complaining that my eczema had flared up in the summer heat, an annual event that signals obsessive scratching from June to September. He leaned forward, his head cupped in his hands, waiting for a brief moment in order to non verbally indicate that great wisdom was about to be spoken and said: ?Well you see Bruce, your skin condition represents unexpressed anger.?

In that polite way you tend to communicate with people who have learning difficulties, when they start talking about dancing frogs or picnicking dinosaurs, I mumbled ?Oh really? and continued to watch the clock. What I really wanted to tell him was I?d had enough. That I?d come to the conclusion that it would be much more positive from a mental health perspective, to spend his ?40 fee on beer and Indian food.

Looking into those calming eyes however, I realised that he?d probably be professionally embarrassed if I was brutally honest. So, I toned down my urge to indulge my cynicism; claiming that I now felt so much better it seemed pointless to carry on with any more sessions. He smiled. Obviously thinking that his skill for sitting in silence for forty five minutes at a time, whilst he waited for me to ramble inanely to fill the gap, had cleared me of every irrational thought that had ever entered my head. Given that his job was to recognise and deal with my every shifting mood, he seemed completely impotent when it came to realising that I was telling him a blatant lie.

We live in a secular world. A spiritual vacuum. Most of us are happy to loudly deny the existence of God without fearing eternal bad karma, but still seek answers to our shared malaise by flocking to support groups, counsellors and psychiatrists in our hundreds of thousands. Personally, after twelve months of polite nodding every time my psychotherapist made an inane observation, I?d come to the conclusion that watching television is just as effective as a coping strategy for the struggles of modern day life. A good example of the therapists dark art, can be found in the pearl of wisdom above: ?Your eczema is caused by unexpressed anger?. Given that all the Barnard males have at one time or another sported genetic patches of inflamed skin, it seems nonsensical that my inflamed dermis results from my inability to start fights outside kebab shops. For all I know the Dali Llama suffers from eczema, and as far as I know he?s not the type of guy that has to stop himself ranting at traffic wardens?

Given that my grandfather spent his entire working life labouring underground in a mine. Banging into the coal face with an industrial hammer, in pitch darkness, in freezing conditions, the threat of a cave in constantly playing on his mind. I?d have thought that he?d have had ample chance to express his anger on a daily basis. Despite this opportunity his hands remained cracked and flaky throughout his life.

Support groups and therapists serve only one purpose in life, to conspire with their punters to rationalize, justify and actively encourage the worst kind of self indulgence. An obsession with the self, which is not only egocentric and narcissistic, but ultimately extremely destructive.

Like your Mam and Dad in the Larkin poem they want to ?fuck you up?.

Therapy is a relentless voyeur, and it longs for you to drop the ?stiff upper lip? approach to life which seemed to work so well for previous generations, most of whom never felt the urge to constantly trawl through their psyche, highlighting every area of doubt or unhappiness until it becomes a full blown mania.

Take for example my Nan, ninety years old, crippled with arthritis, survivor of the great depression, bombing campaigns and the scheduling of late night erotic thrillers on Channel Five. Despite losing kids during childbirth, seeing both her brothers get killed by the Hun in WW2, and living a lonely thirty years without the man she loved, she has never once suggested that she?s dealt a bad hand. Now take a long hard look at the patrons in the church hall tonight, twitching with excitement at the chance to vocalise their sexual weaknesses in front of complete strangers. Now decide if you think Britain could survive another blitz?

As more people continue to lose faith in any concept of God, they seek to fill the vacuum by looking for answers to the big questions in life through their fellow man. A primary school student of history, would happily confirm that this is a big mistake. The concept of an omnipotent force controlling our destiny and forcing us to click on that spam e-mail offering 1,000 free hardcore images, has a certain kitschy charm, but fails to explain the roots behind the problem faced by John, Paul and George.

Namely, they are here tonight because they are desperate to conform.

Any thoughts?

[jj]

The first thought I had was, why did you choose to reply to my jokey post in response to Buttsie at such length and in such earnestness?