Pornography can seriously damage your health.

[mart]

Let this be a warning to you.

~UNhl~
Private Eye
Funny Old World
Compiled by Victor Lewis-Smith
0 "I was adding a fresh batch of magazines to
my stack when the pile became unstable,"
Patrick Moore told reporters from his hospital
bed in New York's St Barnabas Hospital. "And
before I knew it, I'd triggered an avalanche of
books and magazines that buried me naked
right up my neck, until I couldn't move. I kept
hollering 'Let me out! Let me out!' but nobody
came to help, and it was two days before an
ambulance crew finally turned up to rescue
me."
Later, a spokesman from St Barnabas gave
further details of what had happened to
Moore, 42, who was recovering in hospital
from multiple contusions, mild concussion,
damaged eardrums, skin burns, and dehydra-
tion. "He is an obsessive collector of maga-
zines, mostly pornography and science fiction,
and his entire apartment is stacked from floor
to ceiling with tens of thousands of publica-
tions, with barely any room to move. He'd
made a corridor through the books so he could
get in and out, but on this occasion he finally
unbalanced the stacks, and they fell on top of
him. His landlord, Bennie Jones, told us that
he'd heard Moore shouting on the Sunday, but
took no notice, because he's always shouting
obscenities to himself anyway. When our
ambulance crew were finally called on the
Tuesday, they were unable to open the apart-
ment door, because of the weight of magazines
behind it, so they removed the door from its
hinges, then clambered over the mountain of
paper to get to him. The man urgently needs
shelving."
The spokesman then recalled "a similar
case from 1947, when Harlem brothers Homer
and Langley Collier were crushed to death in
their own house by their own collection of
encyclopaedias and clutter. On that occasion, it
took eighteen days to find the bodies under the
debris, which included not just paper, but also
a Model T Ford, an antique motorcycle, a col
lection of stuffed rats, and ten pianos." (New
York Daily News, 30/12/03. Spotter: Tim
Richardson)

Mart

[DavidS]

The trouble these days is that no matter what illness or misfortune befalls you, someone is going to claim it is all your own fault because of your lifestyle. A good example of this is Tony Blair's heart scare a few months back. No one could claim that Blair was obese, drank too much alcohol, smoked or didn't take enough exercise. So the blame was put on drinking too much coffee. Whether the evidence justifies this or not is doubtful. The latest fad of the health fascist, is that everyone should drink unrealistic amounts of water every day. Perhaps W.C. Fields was right when he said, "Never drink water. Fish fuck in it."

[Deuce Bigolo]

Replace the Books with Vids and its 'the JJ Debacle'....lol

cheers
B....OZ

[Deuce Bigolo]

Which is exactly why people should keep their opinions to themselves about other peoples state of health

As the Doctor said to John Cleese in the Meaning of Life in response to him asking 'Can I help'...YOUR NOT QUALIFIED

The number 1 factor that determines how long we live
is what we are born with...our Genes

All the rest...diet,exercise,mental state etc is vital but secondary IMHO

I watched 3/4 of my Grandparents live to the ripe old of 85+ even though they got shit faced regularly,smoked,never exercised and ate shitloads of fatty foods

Could only be one thing...their Genes

cheers
B....OZ

[Pervert]

Well my porn stash igloo is still standing, thankfully

[mart]

Perhaps it explains why some forumites "disappear" for days sometimes.

Mart

[Pervert]

I believe JJ has used his video covers to construct a regency-style mansion house, complete with folly and water feature, as well as a presaedium arch. Check your local estate agents for details, but offers over ?500,000 are required.

[nosey]

Just as a matter of interest my maternal grandfather passed away 22 years, yes 22, BEFORE I was born!!!!!!!!!. The other 3 had all gone by the time I was three.

[Deuce Bigolo]

Just shows how much todays increased life expectancy is mainly due to drugs and innovative surgery in recent times IMHO

The strange one with my grandparents was my grandmother on my mothers side died 2 months before I was born through lung cancer...she never smoked grandfather did-heavily....passive smoking I guess

Certainly proves the theory that passive smoking is twice as bad as actual smoking as some suggest

cheers
B....OZ

[mart]

I only knew one of my four grandparents, one grandfather died 30 years before I was born.

Mart