Ant & Dec

[Terry May]

having watched ant & dec saturday night takeaway which is completely different from Noels house party oh yes no similarity there whatsoever ichanced upon there spontaneous and unrehearsed segmant where they don't know what humiliating act they will have to participate in. So what are these degrading acts they have to perform? last night they had to dress as cowboys! the week before? - sing a song? oh the degradation!!!

As I don't produce that programme might I suggest some things that would at least make them vaguely anxious and earn the huge fee they're paid.



-choosing to shag one of 6 top birds only one of which does not have syphilis!

-being circumcised by a blind rabbi

- dipping their tackle into a selection of boxes only one of which does not contain the meat grinder, starved ferret or bear trap.

- mincing up and down the old kent road dressed as Thai lady boys on a Saturday night

- handing out BNP & NF leaflets outside Brixton tube station

- having a back sack & crack wax performed by a 90 year old crone on mogadon


At the very least:
- doing the jungle trial eating whatever godafwul shite the other c-listers had to eat.

In the words of Paul Weller in his Jam days, 'That's Entertainment!'.


Oh sod it !I should have gone to the pub earlier!

[Heathray]

To be honest public hanging would be my choice. They are funny as cancer and both need a good slapping with a baseball bat. Apart from Champions League I watch precisely nothing on ITV. It really is TV for retards and lowlife.

[Pervert]

Amen to that, brother.

[Cerberus]

Terry, Oh yes please!
I'll offer the services of my ferrets & printer anyday lol.
Thankfully I was in the pub when it was aired.

[Ace]

Can't stand them, I really don't get it having 2 Geordie lads poncing about.
They have become FAR too much over aired on TV, you can't switch on TV these days without these slags appearing. A bit like Eamonn Holmes. That Cunt is EVERYWHERE.

[steve56]

didnt ant and dec try to revive old likely lads sketch recently?as for holmes he always seems false to me like johno leslie.Ace wrote:

> Can't stand them, I really don't get it having 2 Geordie lads
> poncing about.
> They have become FAR too much over aired on TV, you can't
> switch on TV these days without these slags appearing. A bit
> like Eamonn Holmes. That Cunt is EVERYWHERE.
>
>

[Heathray]

The scary news is Eamonn Twatnacks is supposedly replacing Parky when his contract runs out. I cannot stand Parky's dated style but Eamonn is rumoured to be getting ?2 fucking million. He comes over as Mister Sincere but I recall he left his first partner and 5 kids for his career in London and has now shacked up with a third rate bimbo off daytime tv.

As for Ant & Dec I feel they could do a great service to mankind by giving their bodies to medical research while still alive. I hear Cambridge Life Sciences are doing work on how many TV presenters brains it takes to fill a thimble!

[Ace]

I KNOW some of you fuckers watch Sesame Street, so hands up who think Ant And Dec look like Bert and Ernie?
Bert is a deadringer for Ant with the seriously high forehead