"Holden Big Man Tits" Graffitti

[Lizard]

Mmmm, she bakes a mean scone, Hauge,s ma!, Fffffion although reasonably attractive has an overbite the size of the Clifton gauge and a boss eye to boot, or is it two, also I heard she wears huge knickers, where she keeps Williams sandwiches....bless! the only thing I know about bodypopping is that the people that do it, especially in shopping centres need thier legs breaking, as I find it offensive, embarrasing and unatural, like wearing white socks that are tucked into football training pants, and gobbing for no reason.......

[Holden MacGroyn]

Well Mrs Hague thought it would be a good way to cure her arthritis.
I think she misunderstood the original message that was somewhere along the lines of Arthur Ritus is having a seizure. His body is popping all over.
Anyway, I was speaking to Fffion the other day and asked her what she was doing with a right wing Oompa Loompa and she told me to "Ffffuck offff!"
I hadn't noticed the overbite myself. An oversight perhaps, but think of the fun you could have using her as a novelty bottle opener.
She could stand in a corner til you and your mates required a de-capping moment.
If it's that huge we could mass produce her with the genetic code and sell her as a novelty opener. "Fffion - 10 Bottles At Once"

[Lizard]

Ffffion already opens Williams bottles on her substantial front bottom, which is a delight to behold, and William has the performing rights, so not much chance of a commercial release, good thinking though Holden!
Dont worry about not spotting the boss eye, or large overbite, it,s an easy mistake to make when your on a high fibre diet!, but if you can!- treat yourself to a closer look at a photo of her, her face is at 12.00 o, clock, but one of her eyes, is at 1/4 past 3, and the overbite could be used by climbers wanting to get more experience of overhangs, before bieng let loose on the Matterhorn. I dont remember Authur! what ward was he on? Anal Retention block?, but then I was doing a pint of Largactil a day, what with that and the lead jacket.....................

[Holden MacGroyn]

Arthur & I shared the same ward.
Again, when I say ward, I mean room condition.
By that I obviously mean padded cells.
I just pretended I was at a Van Halen concert and slammed myself as hard as I could into one of the rubber walls.
Do you know that if you take a curving run up , you can bounce off of one wall and onto another. At high speed, you can almost bounce off of several walls in quick succession.
The warders called it "Inmate Pinball" and was a much practiced game.
More so when the drugs tea lady would bring around our afternoon supply of Xanax & Medazalan.

Club Medazaland X.
It's all the rage.

[Lizard]

Mmmm, those padded cells can be very comfortable, a bit like a travel lodge you never leave, did you see that scene in midnight express where the Warden was trying to bury his knob in the inmate, and ended up on a coat spike! was that you Holden? or where you one of the undead walking round and round forever in the bowels of the prison, cos if you were I was probably the guy behind you! I was pleased to hear you escaped, those Turkish jails aren,t a patch on ours...

Lizard c/o
HMP. Mogadon.

[Holden MacGroyn]

You do realise how incriminating that sounds.
Me walking round and round in circles and you being right behind me...in a prison.......with bars of soap.

Liz...I worry about you.


Midnight Express is absolute class.
The real story was far less "shocking" than the movie.

No, you see for me, it wasn't a Turkish Midnight Express but more of a Wormwood Scrubs Kebab.
Actually that's a lie.
I've never done time in my life, save for the loveless relationships I've been in.



Anyway, Ronnie Kray told me in Broadmoor, "SHUT IT YOOO SLAAAAAG, UZ AHL FAKIN' DOO YAA WIV A CRAAAAN" (that's crayon to you)