Dont abuse your body....and!

[Lizard]

An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in.
The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"
The old timer said, "I'm a turkey hunter and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out chasing turkeys up and down the mountains."
The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 100 yrs old and, in fact, he hunted turkey with me this morning, and that's why he's still alive... he's a turkey hunter."
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 118 yrs old."
The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went turkey hunting with you this morning too?"
The old timer said, "No... Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married."
The Doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Why would a118-year-old guy want to get married?"
The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?"

[Deuce Bigolo]

Out of the top draw as usual

Thats why the tea lady gets the big bucks

So the secret to a long life is to hunt and never nest

cheers
B....OZ

[Bronson Lee]

and I thought the secret to a long life is to always choke your own chicken !

[Lizard]

In your case Elt, it,s to stop ramraiding Halfords, and nickin all the furry dice!

[Bronson Lee]

Thats the thanks I get for stealing you a cross-ply,

cos Carol keeps leaving your Hemorrhoid Ring at the beach ......

[Lizard]

Once got my hemmorhoid cream mixed up with me toothpaste, now got receding gums and a ring of confidence...boom, boom.....

[jj]

.....please put the 'a' in HAEMORRHOIDS in future.

We're not bloody Americans or BBC journos.
Thankyou.