Attn JJ esq

[Lizard]

I have sent you a mail, he,s about 6ft 4, and can make his own pancakes!

[jj]

Pancakes are poo.

TIA for mail, hope the Thong Thing* went well, off to reply now, assuming Yahoo has managed to process it (in much the same way, I imagine, as they 'process' cheese)...............
*Left a 'joke' about that down below.

[jj]

If non-smoking makes you so ratty, go to a monastery for a fortnight.
Or go buy some gaspers.
Otherwise, I'm sending you straight to bed without any supper, and no telly for a fortnight.

Kids, eh?

[Lizard]

There,s an awfull lot of shite related things in my mail box, know anything about it?
Thanks for your attention in these matters.

[jj]

Yes, it's a virus called 'Shitter', apparently there's a coprophiliac German systems analyst going around, and he's targeting people called Lizard, beacuse he has a grudge against reptiles, having been badly shouted at by a group of drunken geckoes in Faliraki last year, and he can't draw the distinction between real lizards and people who are called lizard, because he is (obviously) a tad loopy, as folk who have dealings with geckoes tend to be, anyway real lizards tend not to have PCs because of the problems getting the electric put in in trees and deserts and under hedgerows etc and Tiscali don't deal with cold-blooded cutomers at all, the fuckers, but I understand the Nature Conservancy Council are working on it, so that's good news anyway for lizardkind everywhere, isn't it, and to sum up, no, I don't know anything about it, but Mrs Frog-Gobbler at Number 7 might know, I'll ask her when I see her at next week's Lib-Dem wine, cheese and flagellation do, and get back to you then............

[Lizard]

You know that Mrs Frogobbler?........................Iv,e had her!

[jj]

Well, I've had her- and on toast !
Ner.........