Fairytales Fuck Me Off

[Holden MacGroyn]

This is the version to tell your spoilt bastard little turd children and if they don't like it, send them to bed without food for a week.

Hansel and Gretel: Busted.

The story of Hansel and Gretel is about two dirty little children that run around and piss off their hard working parents. They're always laughing and screaming without a care in the world because they're selfish little bastards that get everything they want. One day the little bastards run off into the woods in search of someone to throw rocks at. They end up finding a house made out of candy and they start to eat it. Inside the house was a nice old lady that eats children. She invited Hansel and Gretel into her house, but was assaulted and thrown into the oven! She was pissed off and mad as hell. So she busted down the oven door, and put the beat down on Hansel and Gretel. When the two bastards came to, they found themselves tied up and being roasted. The end. The moral of the story is that Hansel and Gretel are stupid little shits, and they deserve to be eaten.


Little Red Riding Hood: A Balanced Meal.


Little Red Riding Hood is a story about a dumbass little girl that doesn't know anything. One day she decided to take some food to her sick grandmother. Little did she know that a clever wolf had eaten her grandmother weeks ago, and only the remnants of her rotting corpse remained. After the wolf ate her grandmother, he went through all her stuff and tried on her clothing. Just then, the dumbass showed up and started interrogating the wolf. She kept asking him stupid questions about why his teeth and eyes were so large, until finally the wolf snapped and ate her. It turned out that little red riding hood was so stupid that she didn't even know how to be eaten, and the wolf got indigestion. The end. The moral of the story is that if you ask too many dumbass questions, you will be eaten. Trust me, I know.


I fuckinghate children myself. Moaning little "But i want THAT Transformer" bastards.
Have you got kids?

HAHAHAHA GOOD YOU PROBABLY DESERVE THE LITTLE SCROTES AS PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR LAST LIFE.


...now fuck off and leave me alone.

[Deuce Bigolo]

I got told a whole different version of little red riding hood

Coicided with the birds & the bees

<Little Red Riding Hood.....

Little Red Riding Hood was getting ready to go and visit her grandmother in the forest and her mother said: "You'd better not go out tonight Little Red Riding Hood because the big bad wolf's out and you know what he'll do; He'll lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and screw your little red socks off."

But Little Red Riding Hood pulled out a shotgun and said: "Don't worry Mum, I've got it covered."

So she was walking through the forest when she came across the three little pigs.

One of them ran out of the brick house and said "You shouldn't be out tonight Little Red Riding Hood! The big bad wolf's out and you know what he'll do if he catches you. He'll lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and screw your little red socks off."

So she pulled out the shotgun and said "Don't worry boys. Got it covered!"

As she continued through the forest she came across the big bad wolf and he said: "You shouldn't have come out tonight Little Red Riding Hood because you know what I'm going to do. I'm going to lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and screw your little red socks off."

So she lifted up her little red dress, pulled down her little red panties, lay down on her back with her legs apart, pointed the shotgun at him and said, "NO I don't think so!! You're going to eat me like the book says."

thats my good deed for the week done

cheers
B....OZ

[Deuce Bigolo]

Guilty as well

In my defense i say what the comics theselves say....material wise everything has been covered which means its only the delivery that is different

cheers
B....OZ