Why?

[R18 DVD Shop]

Well why? Whats the point in it all? Why do we bother to live in this horrible horrible shithole we call the world? I just wish I had the fucking nerve to do what I have been thinking of doing for the last week but Im a yellow belly coward - fucking great, eh? Stuck here living this in shite for maybe another 50 years - cant fucking wait.........

[Illinoisblue]

[R18 DVD Shop]

I have never read or saw anything of his and I dont watch TV full stop so its nothing to do with any of that. There is no real hatred here for anything and anyone except for me - so just how do u solve self hatred?

[Lizard]

I think IB,s link above may be helpful seriously, the world is still a great place, there is bad and good, and always has been, your seeing just the bad, and have probably got yourself clinicly depressed, this is a condition that can be helped, please see someone...

[R18 DVD Shop]

Its not that Im seeing the bad - its just that I really cant see any good in it. Someone give me an example of something really good in the real world today - I have looked in my life and beyond and I cant see jack shit worth putting up with this crap for.

As for getting help I have been there, done that and got the social badge saying "Im a nutcase, laugh at me" - no thanks, not going there again. And talking doesnt work - talking might make u feel ok for an hour or whatever but then it just comes back again and after two years on and off and two months of solid shit you get to a point where putting it off to tomorrow just doesnt become appealing anymore and all the other things suddenly do.

[Lizard]

Then change your life!, not easy I know, but it works, have the courage to move, live somewhere else, do a different job, channel your depression into something positive, and think about people who are in a far worse predicament than yourself, go be a hospital visitor, and see some of the really sick people who have no choice, they are dying and they know it.
iT,S NEVER TOO LATE to change your circumstances, people who talk about suicide rarely commit it, it,s the ones who dont....

[RetroDon]

U need an Anthony Robbins book & seminar

[R18 DVD Shop]

Your last point is very true but, on the same vein, the only reason Im talking about it cos I dont have the nerve to do it but not cos Im scared of dying, quite the opposite in fact, Im scared of living. I havent done it for one of two reasons - 1) I dont wanna fail and become and vegetable and thereby lose the ability to do it again and 2) I dont wanna fail and get locked up. Also, as I said before, its been like this for 2 years and certainly for the last 2 months solid and I havent talked about it but Im getting frustrated now at my inability to do something for myself for once.

There is nothing else preventing me from doing it - well except not having a working gun, would make it a fuck load easier but due to the nanny state we live in we arent allowed to have guns so that rules out the most effective and efficient method of doing it. Research shows gunshot and hanging to be the two most effective methods - dont fancy hanging myself plus my size kinda rules that out as a practical method. I guess suicide by cop might be a viable option if only I was sure they could shoot straight and actually hit me where they were aiming cos I dont fancy 10 years inside as well as fucking big hole in my shoulder or something. Decisions, decisions.........

[Lizard]

"Decisions, decisions........." The only decision you need to make, is where to seek help, life is great, you just cant see it, because your depressed, and quite badly as well, I have lost many friends due to drugs, the misery they left behind was terrerible, I wish they could have been here to see it, the selfish fuckas, get some professional help, not some social worker, change your life/habits/routine, and think of the mess you would make with a bullitt.