Homosexual biscuits...

[Lizard]

How can you tell ??, Iv,e just had a hob-nob, and think I might be gay, I had a ginger nut this morning and felt queer, but a fig biscuit was fine.

[Peter]

Ever had a lemon puff? Name says it all.

[Holden MacGroyn]

Liz is a Garibaldi man.
Yep, he's into shaven twats called Gary.

REVOLUTIONARY BISCUITS OF ITALY
RISE UP OUT OF YOUR BOX
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR WAFERS
YUM, YUM, YUM, YUM, YUM


....name that show.

[Pervert]

Bambi, from The Young Ones.

[Holden MacGroyn]

Gold Star that man.

"Is this the cheese shop?"
"No sir."
"That's that sketch knackered then."

[Pervert]

"Ra-ra-ra, we're going to smash the oiks!"

[Holden MacGroyn]

"VIVA EL PRESIDENTE"

"Ha ha, missed both my legs."

[Pervert]

And to think "Ha ha, missed both my legs!" was too subtle for some viewers.

"Where did you get that howitzer?"

[Holden MacGroyn]

I actually wrote and then deleted the Howitzer quote!
The classic ones.

Ok, how about these little gems.

~Now what actually was your crime?
~Uh, whistling on a tuesday jester.
~You bastard!


~Missed me virgin!
~I am not a virgin.


~I'm Mick. This is Tez. We would've brought Harry, but we don't know anyone called Harry.



~You gay, black bastards! We're going to victimise you!
~Oh, no! Who can help us now?
~Oh, no! It's People's Poet!
~Goodness people's poet, is it really you?
~Yes it is. Now you pigs are in for a pretty big shock - right on
~What do you think you're doing, pig?
~THWAK!
~Could you really give a fig, pig?
~BAM!
~And what's your favourite sort of gig, pig, Barry Manilow, or the black and white minstrel show?
~BOKKO!


~Oh people's poet, don't die, we'll kill ourselves if you do! But first, we're going to take off all our clothes!



~Hang on, what's that?
~It's my mascot!
~A pig?
~No!
~It is.
~It's not, it's a ferret. A deformed ferret, I'll grant you that. So severely deformed in fact that it looks a little bit like a pig.
~Looks exactly like a pig.
~Yes, well, it certainly has been remarked upon. In fact, just as John Hurt is known as the Elephant Man, Bacon Sandwich here is known as the Pig Ferret.
~Bacon Sandwich? Funny name for a ferret, isn't it?
~Ha ha! And that's where I had you fooled. Because it's not a ferret, it's a pig.




I still have my original video recordings straight off of BBC2 thankfully as subsequent showings have been cut big time.
Original run time was 35 mins, then repeats were at 30 mins and now the DVD releases have the music bits cut out.
Also Neil singing "Hello Darkness my old friend" on the shitter have also been cut!
The whole skit with the boys trying to get onto the train in Bambi....cut. Who can forget the site of Vyvyan stuffing a pie in his mouth and giving the 2 fingered salute to the bovine looking hag behind the counter.

[Pervert]

One reason I haven't bought the series on DVD---or Filthy Rich And Catflap. Beeb are trying to save money by avoiding paying royalties to bands featured. Bloody stupid.

"No, no, no----we, right, sow the seeds . . . ."