Great News

[mart]

Yeah yeah. Big man. Big head. Big mouth.

Mart

[mart]

What has people going to Afghanistan got to do with it?

Mart

[Deuce Bigolo]

You forgot to mention the most important facts

Big Feet(size 14 judging by the Officers ID photo)
Not sure what size his gut was but I'm sure it could be classed as a WMD

Stands to reason you need big feet to give em a good kicking

cheers
B....OZ

[jaybo]

Used as an example of other f**ked up , vague laws , and the "do gooders" who support the perpetrators of such acts , and when they're play the human rights card or waffle on about how bad an upbringing they had . I'm sure there's loads of such laws around this big ol' world of ours on subjects wide diverse . JJ .

[Officer Dibble]

Ha, ha, ha! Never mind mart, don't be bitter, we can't all lead interesting eventful lives, or be fountains of facinating anecdotes, like Officer D.

Officer Dibble

[Officer Dibble]

"Stands to reason you need big feet to give em a good kicking"

An astute observation, Deuce. Yes, it's true. Generous physical stature is always an advantage when it comes to chinning chavs.


Officer Dibble

[mart]

B also stands for bombast and bullshit.

Mart

[Officer Dibble]

Ha, ha, ha! Suckerd again, mart


Officer Dibbs

[Deuce Bigolo]

Its probably more down to the differences between OZ and the UK

In OZ we have wide open spaces with the odd no go gang dominated suburb where petty crime is rife and even the Police have given up...ie Dubbo,Redfern

Its true that there are suburbs/ghettoes where Kids/Adolescents run amok
and unless your going to become their social worker Violence is about all they understand because they know no better.Its not uncommon in OZ to have 2/3 generations of a family that have never worked.Great role models

Unless Governments start breaking up Ghettoes and get everybody into work or study regardless of the difficulties nothing will change

God knows the current system doesn't work

Welfare might keep you alive but it destroys your sense of worth over time IMHO

cheers
B....OZ

[rrankin]

As the FT's parody today puts it:-



Beating the rap

The Crown Prosecution Service has responded to doubts about householders' rights to defend themselves against intruders with a leaflet on what constitutes reasonable force.

> Does the law protect me? What is reasonable force?

You can use reasonable force to protect yourself or others, so long as you believe it is necessary. Hitting the intruder with a heavy implement like a lamp is fine; so, too, is a cricket bat, but make it a Duncan Fearnley; an aluminium bat may be too light.

Keeping a chainsaw under the bed would be pushing things; you could not really use it unless the burglar was called Jason and carrying a machete. Similarly, eating an intruder's liver with a nice Chianti, even if you are certain he is not actually a census-taker or meter-reader, would fall on the wrong side of the line.

The intruder must still be in your house when you tackle him. Chasing him down the street with a shotgun in your hands and yelling "I'll get you, you bastard," may be tricky legally.

> Do I have to tackle the burglar - can't I just hide in the closet?

What are you - a man or a mouse? This slag's in your house. Get that nail gun and stand up for your rights.

> Do I have to wait to be attacked?

No. You just get stuck in, my son.

> What if the intruder dies?

We accept you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. But if, having knocked someone unconscious, you then strap them into a home-made electric chair and flick the switch, we would be concerned. The message is clear: just make the death look plausible and there'll be no questions asked. Should you capture your intruder, it is not acceptable to lock him in the cellar with electrodes attacked to his body. Leave that to the army. robert.shrimsley@ft.com