NUT ? Nuts?

[Officer Dibble]

It didn?t pass my notice that the NUT (national Union of Teachers) had a bit of a get together the other week, where they collectively wrung their hands and cried into their muesli about the declining standards of behaviour in the classroom. A succession of speakers came to the podium with blood curdling tales of thrown knives, boiling water, regular assaults, as well as effing, blinding, and general anarchy. ?Ha!? I thought. How ironic. How rich. But you reap what you sow. The leftist NUT has been a prime mover over the past 35 years in removing discipline and opprobrium from the classroom (and the rest of society) encouraging school children to express themselves as they please and not to point the finger when their behaviour, attitude, and work, fell below accepted standards.

Of course the NUT blamed all the usual suspects for this sorry state of affairs ? globalisation, third world debt, the bourgeois middleclass and Mrs. T (even though she had been moved off the case before most of their tormenters were born!) Yes, they blamed everyone but themselves and seemed genuinely perplexed by it all. What a set of twats, eh? I hope the pupils of ?Scruffy Chav High? continue to give ?em a right good kicking.

It was different when I was at school, unruliness and bad manners were simply not tolerated. I recall one incident in particular where I fell foul of ?Mr. Collette?, the deputy head. He was a large geezer of fearsome visage ? slicked back Brylceamed hair and milk bottle bottom spectacles. A chap so intimidating his name was usually uttered in hushed tones. Anyhow, it came to pass that the teacher who was supposed to be teaching us history one morning was late, so the class of 4c was left to its own devices ? you know, running round, shouting, throwing text books and general riotous assembly. For my part I was entering into the sprit of it all by banging the lid of my desk with youthful gusto. But all this tomfoolery suddenly stopped dead, when Mr. Collette, `attracted by the commotion, appeared in the classroom doorway. You could have cut the air with a knife as the whole class held it?s breath in collective horror. I had been so engrossed in my desk banging antics that for a few moments I had not noticed this angel of doom standing on the threshold of classroom 5. But now Mr. Collette was looking in my direction (gulp). ?DIBBLE! STEP OVER HERE!? Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. Nothing to lose now. So I swaggered to the front of the class like a latter day James Dean. I was probably just in for a bollocking - desk banging wasn?t such a heinous crime after all, was it? However, as soon as I was within striking distance, and totally unexpectedly, Mr. Collette?s hand shot up with cobra like rapidity and gave me a slap across the chops so mighty that it fair knocked me into the middle of the following week! As the stars spun above my head I sensed rather than heard the sharp intake of breath from my horrified classmates. You didn?t fuck with Mr. Collette.

But if that happed now Mr. Collette would find himself serving a ten year stretch down the lentil mines of PC land and I would be in line for a ?100,000 education authority compo cheque with 12 months free counseling, on account of my psychological trauma, like. What utter bollocks, eh?

Yep, those were the days. Looking back now I see that Mr. Collette was the antidote to the natural anarchy and unruliness of our chavy school. He kept the whole thing on course, he kept order. We wouldn?t have learned much at all if we hadn?t been forced to. So Mr. C, wherever you are now ? respect.



Officer Dibble?s School Days

[Pervert]

There's a fine line between the discipline of the Mr Collettes of this world, and the sadism displayed by some power-crazed teachers. Maybe you're unfamiliar, Officer, with some of the horror tales---of the pupils made deaf by the clip around the ear, for example---and maybe they are few and far between, but they did happen.

You are sweeping in your generalisation again. While the soft PC teachers may share in the blame for the breakdown in school discipline, they aren't the sole culprits.

In my day (cue Hovis theme), there were teachers who ruled with iron, and there were those who couldn't keep control if their lives depended on it; but there were others who never had to resort to violence to keep pupils well behaved in their classrooms. Their ability to deal with people earned them respect.

Oh, and before you throw the accusation at me, I'm not a teacher and muesli tastes like mouse droppings---or how I'd imagine mouse droppings to taste.

[TheProf]

Actually 'muesli' gives me the runs-so I never touch the stuff now,lesson learn't.

Yesterday,I met a little old lady coming out of a clinic and she saw me coming towards her,when I reached her she said "I could tell you were in the Army by your walk"I was also wearing my Army T-Shirt at the time to confirm.

She was saying what frightens her was the young of today,intimidating,unruly and hated those that wore 'hoods-up'.I assured her that she must not worry herself about this,and look back to the wonderful time she had as a young girl and the better times & freedom she had throughout her years...she agreed,and said thanks "I'd made her day".

A lot of this is stoked up by the media-it sells papers,the young & celebrities make good copy.I know,I worked in the media and everything is geared into certain slots.It's wicked really...fear sells news print.

We could talk about this subject till the cows come home...

But I just spotted this saying in a book on censorship-"Times change and we change with them" inscription dated 1894 on the wall of a hospital in Streatham,London.

Be safe...

[Officer Dibble]

"Maybe you're unfamiliar, Officer, with some of the horror tales---of the pupils made deaf by the clip around the ear, for example---and maybe they are few and far between, but they did happen."

Yes, but I don't loose too much sleep over it.


"You are sweeping in your generalisation again. While the soft PC teachers may share in the blame for the breakdown in school discipline, they aren't the sole culprits."

True. The tabloid press and Guardian reading middle classes in general must share equal blame.


"but there were others who never had to resort to violence to keep pupils well behaved in their classrooms. Their ability to deal with people earned them respect."

I guess it was a middleclass school then?


"Oh, and before you throw the accusation at me, I'm not a teacher and muesli tastes like mouse droppings"

Actually, I'm quite partial, myself. In fact I'm off for a bowl of Alpen right now. Groovy.



Officer Dibble

[TheProf]

P.S...but I did make my little old lady laugh when I said if we had full military call-up today for the 18-year olds MOST would fall sick and be excused boots(being too unfit) or cry for their mums.The hard nuts would become crumbling softies.

Cold showers are good for the moral...and a 3am route march (full pack for the use of)across Salisbury plain seperates the men from the boys.

Im a little old for this now,but give me back my stripes and I'll show you how it's done at the head of a full platoon of rough necks...Oh,and lets have a few bullets and shells flying over your head at the same time.

...and 'muesli' is best not eaten beforehand otherwise you would have to have clean underwear every 10 seconds...or on a charge!.

Im glad I made my little old ladies day!

[Pervert]

A middle class school? Aye, right.

Keep burning your candles at the altar of the blessed St Maragret and harking back to the good old days, mate. And don't let the fact that there were no "good old days" stop you.

[Officer Dibble]

?A middle class school? Aye, right.?

Are we supposed to conclude from your adopting of traditional Scottish working class vernacular (aye) that you were not privileged to attend a ?nice school??


?Keep burning your candles at the altar of the blessed St Maragret and harking back to the good old days, mate. And don't let the fact that there were no "good old days" stop you.?

While it?s true that there never really were any good old days, at least one can say there was order in the classroom back then, generally speaking.



Officer Dibble

[Lizard]

Right! If you thought Mr Collette was bad Dibble, you should have met our head teacher, why! just for breathing aloud, he would make you shave an inch of your leg with a rusty plane, then no food for the rest of the week, 30,000,000 lines, ( I must not behave like a twat), then every morning for a fornight he would beat you senseless in front of assembly with a crow bar, then throw you in 'the hole' to do some reflecting on your mis deeds....
And you thought you had it rough!..............no wonder you can afford muesli. We all had to piss in the same pot then drink it! Muesli! the nearest we got to that at our school was 'sawdust' even then we were only allowed to look at it.......
You Southerners! you dont know how cushty youv,e got it!

[Pervert]

You'd be correct in assuming I didn't get into one of the priviliged lifeboats from the Titanic.

[The Last Word]

I'd agree some of the NUT tinkering over the period you define has taken the soft option from time to time, but do remember the running of all schools reflect shifts in education as a whole, and schools are perhaps more concerned with overall academic performance and the pass rate than ever before. It's a Government wants results thing, sure, and as such it's the gradual softening of the exam structure and the teaching leading up to them that needs to be looked at (a system which would now allow a chimpanzee to wind up with top marks, frankly*). A toughening up here wouldn't go amiss, with the knock-on effects for both school and the pupil hopefully beneficial ? though there is the feeling the governing bodies have for a long time assumed otherwise.

* and the much talked-of 'exam stress'? more to do with the (overstated?) importance of passing than their actual difficulty, methinks.