caractacus can you help ?

[colin]

i've promised my sister i will visit her in kilmarnock soon, i've not been there for over 15 years and have forgotten the place. would you happen to know it at all and advise me if there are places/areas i should avoid/go. my sister does not go into the town at all and does not know the place at night. unfortunately i have a propensity for finding myself in places i shouldn't be when in new towns/cities, especially pubs!

[Lizard]

It,s no use asking him, Carac is a hermit and lives in a shed/cave, only sparks into life after 11.00 when the sun goes down, plus he,s tee total and doesn,t shave, and the nearest he,s been to a club is owning all Sclub7,s albums.

[Pervert]

You would know, you sold those albums to me, Lizard.

The rest of what he says is pretty accurate. There was a regular poster on here called Crofter who was from that side of the country and might have some up-to-date information on Kilmarnock and its nightlife. I would stick to places in the town centre with bouncers on the door---but that's no guarantee of safety in the wild west. Sorry, Colin!

[Pervert]

Typed pubs and clubs in Kilmarnock into google, and came up with this rather unhelpful info:



Seems to be a list of locations for Neds to hang out.

[colin]

cheers for answering carac., i'll end up doing what i usually do and try to wing it ! some times it works, some times it don't ! at least i know to ask for a pint of heavy not bitter, lol !!!

[diplodocus]

don't ask for a pint of heavy, they'll probably thing you're taking the piss, plus it's not the same as bitter and tastes like shit

[colin]

always thought heavy was bitter in scotland ?

[Pervert]

Heavy is ale---80 shilling. Best to ask for a named brand if possible---Belhaven or Deuchars or something.

[fevrd]

Tell her you can't go cos it's too dangerous. Kilmarnock! The very name freezes your blood.

[Pervert]

Don't let the name put you off. We have a place up here called Killiecrankie, and as far as I know they never have.