Seriously Irritating Motoring Phenomena

[Officer Dibble]

Hey, have you noticed lately, that there seems to be an ever-increasing number of dozy incompetent twats driving at 30 MPH in the right hand lane of urban dual carriageways, when the road is totally clear in front of them? Has the Highway Code been revised recently? When I learned to drive you were supposed to keep to the naffing left unless you were overtaking.

Of course it?s mainly the usual suspects ? those fuckers in Vauxhall Corsas and the equivalents. Half of ?em seem to be clinging to the steering wheel for dear life (tearing along at 30 MPH) and the other half float serenely on (at 30MPH) with seagulls circling in their heads, seemingly oblivious to other road users.

This creates a dilemma ? do you stick to the spirit of the Highway Code and keep pace with the afor mentioned dozy twat, in the left hand lane. Or, do you show a bit of spirit and say ?FUCK IT!? before gunning your motor to the redline, and screaming pass the dithering dozy fucker on the inside lane at 70 MPH? I guess I don?t need to tell you which is my preferred course of action.


Officer Dibble

[LaughingGravy]

yeah..happens all the time in Wales..

Sit right up there ass, flash the lights..

if that dont work

go into left lane and pull up beside them and stay there...watch the other traffic queue up behind them...

I think those that cant drive fast enough should be shot and turned into Solent green..

but yeah ya right... put it into 2nd.. and mivec (FTO) past em in the left lane.

[Deuce Bigolo]

Maybe you should consider hire a monster truck fro day and scare them witless

Give them the incentive to get the hell out of the fast lane

cheers
B....OZ

[RetroDon]

I say "fuck it" and undertake them, if they aren't going to obey the highway code then why should I? I take every opportunity to drive "enthusiastically" whenever I can because I know that opportunity won't be there forever, most motorists appear to have had lobotomists repalce their brains with some low form of instuction-obeying computer. Once Big Brother has us all driving cars with on-board "black boxes", chips and built-in speed limiters then driving will become as much fun as cancer

[brooks]

I got pulled over on London embankment for 'undertaking' a few months back.

I was standing on the roadside having my details checked when the copper asked me if I knew what 'undertaking' was. I resisted the obvious gag and played dumb which led to a lecture from him which included the words "I know the guy in front was being a twat and driving at 20 mph on the outside lane and if I had my choice I'd nick them all".......

So even the coppers hate them fools.

[Rude Boy]

"Once Big Brother has us all driving cars with on-board "black boxes", chips and built-in speed limiters"

They can fuck off. Blasting down a country road is one of life's pleasure, and as yet the pricks and commies haven't found a way to stop it. There are some SUPERB drives around my way, Haverhill to Bury St Edmunds is fucking brilliant and, time permitting, on to Thetford and a blast through Thetford forest is the bollocks. Get enough speed up and you feel like your Luke Skywalker on one of the futuristic motorbikes from "Return Of The Jedi" as the trees whizz past.

The Haverhill by-pass is dull but you can get up a good speed with fun roundabouts to negotiate and there's never anyone on it. Belter!

A few commie speed cameras appeared on one of the cool roads near Newmarket but somebody set fire to them a week later. Terrible shame.

[laralatex]

If some idiot is in the outside lane - mostly OAPs, burning more fuel than neccessary to take a papercup to the tip - and its usually a pensioner who thinks that as they are maintaining the speed limit on the A3 that they have the right to hold everyone up behind them. THen the only thing to be done is to undertake. What other way is there to show that because they don't need to go anywhere in a hurry that the rest of the world should dawdle away behind them to. You will of course get flashed at (with their lights- god forbid anything else)! and of course the deadly pensioner 'fist of fury'

[Pervert]

Be fair, they have to stay in that lane because they'll be turning right at a roundabout ten miles down the road.

[Bob Singleton]

The problem is that it's not just pensioners... it's EVERYONE!!!

Coming home down the A3/Kingston Bypass at midnight or later as I often do, it's people in Jags, 5 series beemers, fucking 4x4s as well as twats in Volvos. Even beeping them and flashing your lights whilst moving from inside lane to outside lane and back again doesn't seem to make them understand.

I even saw an AA driving instructor doing it. When he caught up with me at the lights in Hinchley Wood I wound my window down and told him when I was at BSM we taught our pupils to drive on the left! He wasn't amused. He probably was even less amused when I rang his office and told them of his driving habits! A year ago I did the very same regarding a patrol car from Wandsworth nick... I rang them and said I'd followed (car reg no) sitting in the middle lane and was that a good example to set to other road users?

What chance does the ordinary public have when those who really should know better are just as bad?

[Officer Dibble]

You've hit the nail on the head Carac, that's pretty much why they do it. They're terrified that if they keep to the left they won't be able to get their motor into the right hand lane at the appropriate time - what with all those really big fast cars doing 40MPH down the right hand lane. It's really, really, scary, and hey, they can barley handle their Nissan Micra. So, what they do is get in the right hand lane at the earliest opportunity and stick there at 28 MPH holding the fucking job up for everyone.

If these people are so timid and terrified, if they can't handle their machines, should they be on the road in the first place? Do they present a danger, if not to themselves, but to other road users, in that they are driving them to distraction?


Officer Dibble