What can I say? I,m fucking dreading it, I,m sooooo dreading it I did a trial run the other day, yes!...I pissed myself!, not with laughter you understand, I just pissed myself in Waitrose, to get the feeling you know, and to my surprise I actually quite liked it, but after a few strange looks I thought I,d better fuck off, so into the motor wearing a flat cap and a piss stained mac, and off for a drive, I drove at 15mph, and never indicated for about an hour, I was watching other drivers lips, and counted 43 'twats' 17 'move it you old fucka,s' but oddly only 1 'cunt' not bad, then it was off to the post office thursday morning to que at 8.30 even though they dont open till 9.00, the talk was of operations, cancer, and more cancer, interspersed with gardening tips for the retarted, like - leave the top off your water butt when it,s raining to collect water (must have been up all night thinking that one up) then more cancer tales. Next it was off for a game of bowls, and an attempt to fiegn a heart attack, whilst shouting 'run on' finally I decided to test the water on a bus, when asked for the full fare I protested that I was a pensioner, 'fuck off' came the drivers reply...?2.40 for 3 stops, upon leaving the bus I explained if he ever told me to fuck off again, he,d be wearing his balls as earings, anyway the truth is life as a pensioner sucks, and I,m only young, so it,s a visit to the dignitas clinic for me at the first sign of trouble both north and south, but especially south....
Right a brew methinks.
El Lizardo.
Old age
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Bronson Lee
- Posts: 762
- Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am
Re: Old age
Your lucky !
My pissing kids had my head removed and cryogenically frozen in 2004,
I am typing this message using teleconesis on the Cryonics main frame, they dont even know us heads can do this and keep sacking the cleaners for looking at porn.
On the plus side though I am in hear with some of the great heads of our time....
Linda Mccartney,magic Alex,Cyril smith,the bird out of the Krankies........
My pissing kids had my head removed and cryogenically frozen in 2004,
I am typing this message using teleconesis on the Cryonics main frame, they dont even know us heads can do this and keep sacking the cleaners for looking at porn.
On the plus side though I am in hear with some of the great heads of our time....
Linda Mccartney,magic Alex,Cyril smith,the bird out of the Krankies........
Paradise is for the blessed. Not the sex-obsessed.
Re: Old age
"the bird out of the Krankies........" thats typical of you dongie! always the good lookers, whilst I,m stuck here with me hand down Carols pants, and she keeps asking me to complain a lot like a real pensioner, and suck digestive buscuits, oh and collect Whitley,s pension, btw. is he up there with you by any chance, only I,m wearing his old underwear!.........for Carols sake of course..
[_]> No Liberals were harmed during the making of this post.
Re: Old age
Old age. Is not a very nice thing in this country anymore. Used to be the pensioners got a bit of respect, now it seems though they fought a war for us,and the best our country can do is try and take their houses from them in retirement years.
My step dad has gone to hospital for the first time in forty years I have known him, he is a decent chap always paid his tax, And now he needs an operation to stop him going deaf. Not only is he terrefied of this as he has alsways been blessed with good health, He has been stuck on a nine month waiting list just to see a so called expert. Fucking wonderful.
I hope I have a gun around me when I get old, because I sure as hell dont want to be put in some home left to rot. I wont mind too much about sitting in my own piss all day.
My step dad has gone to hospital for the first time in forty years I have known him, he is a decent chap always paid his tax, And now he needs an operation to stop him going deaf. Not only is he terrefied of this as he has alsways been blessed with good health, He has been stuck on a nine month waiting list just to see a so called expert. Fucking wonderful.
I hope I have a gun around me when I get old, because I sure as hell dont want to be put in some home left to rot. I wont mind too much about sitting in my own piss all day.
--
http://www.ukroadtrips.com
http://www.ukroadtrips.com
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Bronson Lee
- Posts: 762
- Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am
Re: Old age
Whitley,s in hear as it gos and Holness,Monkhouse,Hughie Green .....
Whats that Hughie? you want Lizard to to get a DNA check on some of your old pants, to disprove the Paula Yates link ?
I dont know Hughie, Lizards a busy man and none of us forgive you for the Tracy the Midget incident.
How is Carol I heard she cryed a lot when I was beheaded and through herself on operating table crying out "I must be alowed to keep his dong"
is it still in the jar under your bed ?
Whats that Hughie? you want Lizard to to get a DNA check on some of your old pants, to disprove the Paula Yates link ?
I dont know Hughie, Lizards a busy man and none of us forgive you for the Tracy the Midget incident.
How is Carol I heard she cryed a lot when I was beheaded and through herself on operating table crying out "I must be alowed to keep his dong"
is it still in the jar under your bed ?
Paradise is for the blessed. Not the sex-obsessed.
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Bronson Lee
- Posts: 762
- Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am
Re: WB
Hello to your good self Caractacus,
I still pop in to read the odd post, and its good to see you and a few others keeping the standard up, as this forum has really changed over the years,
did you marry Chanta Rose in the end then ?
and have you seen any really good porn recently ?
apart from the stuff I bet you now make with Chanta
I still pop in to read the odd post, and its good to see you and a few others keeping the standard up, as this forum has really changed over the years,
did you marry Chanta Rose in the end then ?
and have you seen any really good porn recently ?
apart from the stuff I bet you now make with Chanta
Paradise is for the blessed. Not the sex-obsessed.