The last girlfriend I had wanted it in the arse as hard as I could do it. If I'd gone on a 50 yard run up, she would have tried to get me to go to 100. When I asked her if it hurt, she said not really, but that when it did she didn't care because she was so into what was happening.
As for the clit thing, I've never had a woman play with her own while having sex unless I ask them to. I've rarely had a woman wank or put her fingers in herself unless I ask, which is a bit of a contrast to loving anal.
Women eh?