Best way to kill yourself?

[Sam Slater]

I don't know.

I could pick a random number, and print out the number on many different pieces of paper, drawing aliens next to the number, and then plaster my bedroom wall with them.

When the number comes up at bingo I just scream and lop off my head!

All my family will think I was abducted, or just mental (more likely), when in reality I'm just having a laugh at their expense!

I'm getting good at this!

[Pervert]

As an atheist, I don't believe in an afterlife. But on the slightest chance there is one, I don't think you'd want to enter it screaming after plummeting 200 feet to the ground.

So. Best thing to do is find the cave of a grizzly bear, wait until he's gone out hunting, sneak into the cave, shag his missus and drink all his whisky until you pass out in a drunken stupor. Then let nature take its course.

[Arginald Valleywater]

Being shagged to death by Girls Aloud or a selection of top UK porn actresses.

[Roger Fukwit]

Sign up for a UK satellite porn site - You're guaranteed to die of fucking boredom. !boring!

[colonel]

Read a few Sam Slateer posts?

[Sam Slater]

You're killin me!

[jj]

Shot dead at the age of 108 by a jealous husband.

[jj]

Not exactly felo de se, more 'constructive suicide' to coin a term...

[jj]

All the above have in common the disadvantage of being messy and
potentially very painful.
My choice: stand outside Hull Town Hall; place meat pie on lawn and shout
"Pie's on me"!!, wait 30 seconds; throw self on pie whereupon 2
milliseconds later John Prescott will land on top of you, resulting in
exquisite and instant oblivion.

[Sam Slater]

At last, a man with imagination!