A Poem By Layla Jade - Death By Spam

[LaylaJade]

Hey all, you may (or not) know that when i get the time I Like to write Poems, you can read some of thm on my myspace/laylajade page. Anyway Just for the hell of it I decided to post this one which I wrot back in March.
Let me know what you think.
Lay
xoxoxo

Death by Spam

Mary sat at her computer, one bright sunny day,
and felt constricting her airway,
With absolute fear she watched her pc,
wondering what an earth she would see.

She opened her email and the spam came right in,
So much and so fast, it made Mary's head spin!
Not letter's from friends, asking how she had been.
but emails from people who seemed horribly mean.

On the edge of her seat poor mary, she sat,
reading emails from company's, asking why she was fat!
Emails from business's telling her to enlarge her small cock,
Emails from Security company's about some fancy new lock.

Emails from Thailand that poor Mary could not read,
Emails offering discount drugs that Mary did not need.
An email came from Germany offering Mary to join a porn-site,
Dear Mary quite contrary, well she watched this all in fright.

Mary had deleted the nasty spam, so many times before,
it really seemed to Mary, that the wolves were at her door.
Mary sat at her tiny desk, and felt her chest get tight,
A message from a naked man read " talk to me tonight!"

Mary didn't know the folks trying to to sell her a replica watch,
and Mary didn't want a supply of age old quality scotch.
More email came from the Nigerian guy who wanted Mary to give,
the details of her bank account so he could deposit 1 billion quid.

Mary looked upon the email, offering a very expensive shirt,
she raised her hand and clutched her chest, it really, really, hurt.
Mary began to topple from her sturdy swivel chair,
To think of all the dreadful spam she really did not dare.

Some time had passed and Mary dear, lay dead upon the floor,
and still into her mailbox the spam did pour and pour.
All the stress had caused, poor Mary's heart to simply jam,
on the coroner's report, it read, that 'death was caused by spam.'

[WigBilly]

And very entertaining too Lay...that first verse needs a bit of tweaking tho'. How about -

Mary say at her computer one bright and sunny day
And felt a sudden constriction upon her airway
Filled with morbid dread, she gazed at her PC
Wondering just what the heck she was 'bout to see...

...it's all about balance really. Like when you've had one too many! !wink!

[LaylaJade]

I like the 2nd line of your edit but the rest does not flow, 'wondering just what the heck she was bout to see' does not flow at all and what difference does it make if it reads absolute fear or morbid dread?
Sorry.
Layla

[WigBilly]

Sheesh, talk about pedantic...don't you think 'morbid dread' sounds much more 'theatrical' then L-J?? First line should start 'Mary sat...' btw.

[BGAFD Admin]

If you're going to tweak, tweak... www.pornolize.com !innocent!

[WigBilly]

"Mary sat at her computer, one bright sunny day,
and felt motherfucking her airway,
With absolute fear she balled her pc,
Squirting what an earth she would see"

M-m-m-m-m...pure fekkin' poetry that! !wink!