Yo, Dave! How?s it hanggin', dude? Hope you?ve been busy makin? some reely, reely, dirty movies, he, he he. Anyhow, can u settle an argument I?ve been havin? with my M8. I said that legendary porno producer, Dickwad Dave, was the man, and that he had the purplest bellend in Britain. My M8 said, ?Nah, leave it out, you nonce. That accolade must rightfully be apportioned to Kevin Cock, of KILLERBABE.? So I poked him in the eye and we had a right old ding-dong about it.
Anyhow, wot I want to ask is this - have you ever had your bellend spectroscopicly analysed ? to check on the colour, like? If not, can you and Kev go up to Dr Doobries Cock Clinic on Harley Street next Wednesday afternoon and get the hue of your respective bellends assessed? Then can you come back and post the results on this forum? Cheers M8.
Another fing iz, my M8 sez that he was surfin? a gr8 porn site the other day called Divi Doggers Do Daghenam.co.uk and there was talk about you and your M8, ?Gustav the Swede?, makin? a movie with Maureen Minger down on the Skankfarm estate. Anyhow, being a confirmed Minger fan, I was all ears. So my M8 went on to say that you and Gustav were shaggin? Maureen good style ? givin? it plenty of the old ?TAKE THAT (SLAP!) YOU FILTHY, DIRTY, FUCKIN' BITCH! (Poke, shaft, poke, thrust?). AND THAT! (SLAP! SLAP! GOZ, SLAP!) YOU FUCKING FILTHY, FILTHY, DIRTY, DIRTY, FILTHY, DIRTY, CUNTING CRACK WHORE! (Thrust, poke, pump, shaft?). And my M8 sez Maureen was being well dirty too (he, he, he) going ?FUCK ME! FUCK ME! USE ME YOU DIRTY, DIRTY, FUCKERS! I?M A DIRTY, DIRTY, FLITHY, FILTHY, FUCKING SLUT HO! CAN?T YOU SEE THAT, YOU DIRTY, DIRTY, FUCKERS? A CUM SUCKING FILTHY SEX SLAPPA! OMIGOD, I?M SO FUCKING DIRTY! STICK THAT FUCKING BROKEN BOTTLE UP MY DIRTY, FILTHY, GAPING RINGPICE, GUSTAV, YOU FUCKING PANSY!!! (He, he, he).
Anyhow, my M8 sez that while Gustav was takin' care of Maureen?s arse hole you were gagging her with your big cock while alternatively applying vigorous erotic pressure to her dirty windpipe. My M8 sez that Maureen then went ?GURGLE, GURGLE, GAG, CHOKE, GURGLE!,..AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!... GURGLE, CHOKE, GAG, GURGLE!... AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!... And then went limp? My M8 sez you hid the body under the floorboards. But I said Nah, leave it out, son. Not Dickwad Dave. The man?s got class. He?s a living legend, respected and revered on obscure porn sites the length and breath of Essex. He wouldn?t do nuffin' like that. He?d wait until after dark then dig a hole in the back yard.
Anyhow, when will u b makin' another movie with Maureen Minger? I think she?s reely, reely hot, he, he, he. And my bird, Mucky Mary, has asked me to ask u to ask Maureen which diet she?s on. Mary loves Maureen?s ribcage definition and finks it?s reely, reely sexy. And can u tell uz who Maureen?s tattoo artist is? Mary finks that tattoo of the Chechen bus conductor bumming a Siberian Yak on Maureen?s face is reel class. And this week she?s read in Heat that Jordan was finkin? about gettin? one too.
Officer Dibble
Question For Dickwad Dave
Re: Question For Dickwad Dave
Ah, I love the smell of satire in the morning.