The real BGAFD Party

[Sam Slater]

Who would you invite, and why?

Ok, here's mine........it's gonna be a ball.

Firstly Security. Officer Dibble keeps an eye on the car park, making sure no chavs start nicking the wheels and cd players. He'll also have to stop muthco_mutcho_man and colonel from dogging eachother in the shadows.

Caractacus will be on the door to keep out the idiots. Ok, that would mean no one getting in at all, so some idiots will be permitted. Carac will also have to shoe away Jerry Barnett from the back door trying to sell dodgy tickets to the public.

Jacques will be the stripper. He's gonna lose his bet with the mrs jacques and so where better to get his forfeit over and done with? He'll also be handy if the DJ's sound system -which is run by Vista- crashes.

Fudgy is in charge of the decor. I'll purchase plenty of crayons, water colours and fridge magnets for him to 'be creative'. He'll have to be put to bed before 10pm though.

Trumpton is the trapeze artist. He's the best climber, and has no fear of heights. A grooming brush will be available if people feel the need, and having your picture taken with a talking ape is only ?5 a snap.

Then there's a traditional act by Giles, who will be our ventriloquist. His act with Keith Rasputin is great. You really can't see his lips move!

There will be total freedom in the use of drugs. Carac can't keep all the dealers away and so we decided a 100% tolerance policy. Mike Freeman is the man you want to see.

Wazza is 'clean up' of course. All the knobs, tits and profane stickmen Fudge has drawn allover the walls will have to be erased, or we'll not get the deposit back. During the party, we've set aside a small room where Wazza will be holding a spelling and punctuation class.

All we need are the birds and other guests.

Who've I missed out?

[Sam Slater]

Nice one. The more I put people off copulating, the more for me!

[Trumpton]

Sam Slater wrote:

> Who've I missed out?

JJ will be in charge of the alcohol supply - meaning he'll be sitting on a huge keg of beer fighting off anyone who dares to go near him.

[Sam Slater]

Ooooooh!

[Trumpton]

warren zevon rip wrote:

> I feel we should respect jj's wish to be under-capitalized, a
> bit like Northern Rock?

Isn't it strange that both jj and your best buddy magoo, do not use capitals?

Capitalised surely Wazza?

[Pervert]

And according to this wanker, the s is more aesthetically pleasing.

[Trumpton]

warren zevon rip wrote:

> Erm, nope. Either suits, but apparently (according to some
> wanker here a while ago), the zed has more authenticity.

Who was that then? Not you know who?

I'm sticking to using 's'.