Cheaper than a hooker!

[Lizard]

Where on earth did you find that,, the fruit pickers masturbation monthly? there,s no way I,m even goin to chance
cantelope "fellacio" if I got seen by anyone, can you imagine the repercussions in the local paper, No I,ll stick to me Fresh
Fish, jelly and toilet roll technique, call me old fashioned...

I,ll put the kettle on

[Riddler]

At least the melon wont be looking for a cuddle after you've shagged it. You can roll over and kip with with no worries.
Oo, here comes Marcus, quick everyone hide.

[magoo]

Has he gone yet? I`m staying in this cupboard until the "all clear" is sounded. I have just noticed that theres a melon in here....anyone got a knife?

[richy]

.....just make sure ALL the pips are removed before starting !

[Dr Fell]

The same effect may be achieved using Bombay Mix and a little toilet water.

[magoo]

No. It cant. I tried.

[Cathy fan]

I understand that one firm which sells videos supplies a free napkin as well. I wonder which video company will supply a free melon with every order!

[richy]

Now there's a marketing opportunity just waiting to be exploited!
"Free melon with every certified film, assorted sizes"

[magoo]

Shhhh. He will here you.

[ted]

richy wrote:
>
> Fuck me, Bob. Are you bored or what?

Bleedin' ell Richy! You're asking Bob to fuck you? Haven't you read what he does to his fruit?!