Narcissus

[Sam Slater]

There was once a man called Caracticus who fell in love with the nymph, Hamonii Hexus. They bore a child who they thought special, for he learnt to talk at a much younger age than other children, and could read and write Greek texts better than his parents before manhood. His name would be Narcissus.

By twelve, they thought him a handsome boy, which wasn't unusual, for lots of young Greeks are, but he found himself especially handsome. He spent his youth running through the woods, chasing rabbits, and building dams in the stream, just as other boys, but would also spend hours looking at his reflection in the river, wondering why no one else was as beautiful as he.

One day in the woods, the goddess Isabellia Icecus came upon him and fell in love. She called him but he got scared and ran away. She chased him through the woods, calling him by his name (for she knew his name being a goddess), but still he ran, thinking she only wanted sex, as being so handsome there could be nothing else, and he thought himself too young. The goddess was sorry she scared the boy and only wanted to assure him of his safety, yet still he ran.

Narcissus tripped over a tree root and found a man by the name of Jacques css hunched over a strange machine. Being a wise and friendly fellow, Jacques css bid him jump into the river unto the other side if he wished to escape Isabellia Icecus, for being made of ice, the river would melt her and she could not swim.

Narcissus ran to the river but caught his reflection and stopped. The goddess Isabellia Icecus was upon him and saw that he didn't move no longer. She was about to put him at ease but saw Narcissus kissing his own reflection. He told her he was too young for sex, and far more handsome, even than a goddess of beauty would ever be. This made Isabella Icecus angry, but being not a god of war, she let him be.

Narcissus thought it was only a trick, for she would be back, as being so handsome, she must be so, and he swam across the river to hide.

Upon the other side Narcissus was seized upon by soldiers of a great army where the enslaved him. Over time they realised he was a clever boy and wanted him to join their army, while others saw him as too self obsessed, for when they gave him water he would stare into the cup at his reflection before drinking, and tell them how intelligent he was; how proficient and reading he'd became, and that even the goddesses were below his beauty.

Two soldiers called Samikus Slateran, and Fudgia Flapserus saw through his self-obsession and wanted him to be useful in their army. Other soldiers like Alicica in Blunderlandus, and Trumponica were still unsure.

Narcissus was indeed set free to join their ranks, and was given armour, sword and shield. Narcissus was still scared of Isabellia Icecus, and her sexual advances, for he was of the opinion that he got yet more beautiful every day, and she must want sex with him; so he changed his name to Warrenus Zevonica Ripan which he thought would stop the goddess finding him.

To this day he is a soldier in that army, and while friends call him Wazzacus, others call him cuntus, yet forever on will a person that thinks him or herself as too beautiful, too clever, and too gracious, will be named Narcissist, in honour of Narcissus.

[fudgeflaps]

Good enjoyable read, well done fella, !bow!

[Pervert]

He's not going to be happy !laugh!

[Trumpton]

!bow! !bow!

Excellent Sam.

In contention for the 2007 BGAFD post of the year.

I know I'll be slated (no pun intended) by some, but it'll get my vote.

[Sam Slater]

Cheers lads....lol.

Sorry for the mistakes, and people I missed out. I was trying to fit more forumites into the plot, but the phone kept ringing, I had e-mails to send, and it distracted me.

Trying to make Dibble sound ancient Greek (more Roman actually) made him sound like a dinosaur "Dibbledocus" !laugh!

[fudgeflaps]

Great effort Sam- brilliance either way, but did you adapt a story, or spout that out? Enjoyed that.

[Sam Slater]

Hey, don't shoot the messenger! I don't make these Greek myths up ya know!

[Sam Slater]

No, it's based on the real Narcissus, who was indeed self-obsessed, and thought himself handsome.

It's where we really do get the word narcissism from. The goddess was called Echo though. Google echo and narcissus for the real Greek myth.

[fudgeflaps]

Aye, a huge Dummy being spat out from the Borders region will cause an eclipse, maybe a few toys too. He loves it really.