100 slices of haslet.

[Sam Slater]

I bet these homeless shelters and the Salvation Army have to refuse foods just incase it poisons some poor guy and they get taken to court! The people that took your haslet would have taken it home.

[Trumpton]

Sam Slater wrote:

> I bet these homeless shelters and the Salvation Army have to
> refuse foods just incase it poisons some poor guy and they get
> taken to court!

The Salvation Army refused my offer yesterday even after I showed them the slices were safe to eat.

> The people that took your haslet would have taken it home.

As long as it went to a good home and not thrown away.

[Sam Slater]

But, as you probably know, if someone was unfortunate enough to come down with food poisoning, blaming the Salvation Army, then any professions on the meat looking 'good to eat' would be retorted with 'and you are an expert on food?'

They'd be found negligent, I guess.

[Trumpton]

That's probably why the SA refused it. At this time of year they're inundated with gifts of food and experience has taught them to be extremely careful as to which food's to accept.

[fudgeflaps]

"I've now eaten 22 slices (just had a couple in a sandwich with loads of relish (no, not them!) for my lunch). That means just 30 slices left, and I feel fine - no tummy upset or sickness."


You're on a hiding to nothing, pal!! !puke! !laugh!

Late runners in the Mouldy Lidl's Relish Stakes, Dunbar, 4.50

(Going:well rough, may end up medium-rare/ very-squidgy soft)

Odds from PaddyPower.

Farty-kecks Trumpty : 8/9 *top offer*

Trumpty Air-Biscuit/ almost touching cloth: 9-1 each way

Wee Tummy-Squeaker Trumpty: 750-1

Trumpty Trumpet Arse: 5-1

Trumpty Dutch Sauna das 'Ming-Mong': 3-1, goes with previous form.

Trumpty Heavy Gusset Density: 2/5

Liquid Fartz Trumpty Cack-ophony: 8/13 fav

!help!

[fudgeflaps]

The commentary for The "100 slices of haslet" New-Guinea Stakes:

"Here we go, under starters orders, Perrie Bunsingstoke with the pistol, we're about to go, any moment now.................. 100 Slices of Haslet, 4 days old................. AAAAAAAAAANNNNNNND THEYY'RRRE OFFFFFFFFF*!!!!!"

(*as in well out of date, maybe mouldy !laugh! Swally the Rennies and Imodium like sweeties, with a cheeky wee Castrol GTX/ Harpic chaser !wink!)

Seriously, all the best with the spicy-meat challenge!! Go Trumpty, Go!! !footie! !bow!

If you fail via the feared medium of Belch/ S.A.D. (swift anal dilation), you must change your name to Trump, Trumping or Trumpy.

I suspect you'll be fine, teflon-guts! !happy!

[harmonyhex]

So my offer wasn't good enough then?

"Should I come over and help you out with your meat? "

[Trumpton]

fudgeflaps wrote:

> You're on a hiding to nothing, pal!! !puke! !laugh!
>
> Late runners in the Mouldy Lidl's Relish Stakes, Dunbar, 4.50
>
> (Going:well rough, may end up medium-rare/ very-squidgy soft)
>
> Odds from PaddyPower.
>
> Farty-kecks Trumpty : 8/9 *top offer*
>
> Trumpty Air-Biscuit/ almost touching cloth: 9-1 each way
>
> Wee Tummy-Squeaker Trumpty: 750-1
>
> Trumpty Trumpet Arse: 5-1
>
> Trumpty Dutch Sauna das 'Ming-Mong': 3-1, goes with previous
> form.
>
> Trumpty Heavy Gusset Density: 2/5
>
> Liquid Fartz Trumpty Cack-ophony: 8/13 fav
>
> !help!

!bow! fudgey !bow!

No, I really do feel okay at this moment in time - although what will be the state of my guts if, or indeed, when I've finished gobbling down the remainder of these slices is yet to be discovered. Gulp!

[Trumpton]

harmonyhex wrote:

> So my offer wasn't good enough then?

Sorry Harmony I missed that one - but I found it now !blush!

> "Should I come over and help you out with your meat? "

Just as long as my two veg are also included !wink!

[fudgeflaps]

His meat may well be too much for you to swallow, Hexy- a dubious tangy aftertaste too..... you'd be better off tossing off his plunger and having a wee taster of his funkyspunk! !wink!