Arrrrgghhh ! HELP !!!

[Layla~Jade]

Cornish Chris just stabbede me with a fork...
and then he threw a bottle openner at my foot !!!!

[Layla~Jade]

honestly...

[Kryten]

RU sure it wasn't his pork truncheon

[Jay Dee]

Does he specialise in kitchen utensils ?

[magoo]

Oh, Dear! I am both shocked and horrified at such tragic news of the famous Cornish Chris resorting to fork related violence. And he didnt even wear a knapkin or use the correct desert spoon.

Chris can I make a joke about Scousers or would that be rude? (you can take the piss out of me as a fellow northerner)

Sorry Layla but us Northerners are known for our bad table manners so perhaps Chris just got confused with all your posh southern cutlery and chopped your leg off by accident.

[Lizard]

What did you have for puddin?

[magoo]

And while we are at it can I have a bottle of the stuff your drinking please? I once got stabbed in the foot by a porcupine! And he didnt even get arrested for it unlike me who got charged with standing on an endangered species.

Tea please Lizard! I feel a bit odd.

[magoo]

I believe they eat things like Stargazy Pie down in Devon and Cornwall. Its mashed potatoes with a load of sprats sticking out head upwards. Honestly! I watch Rick Stein on BBC2 who comes from down there. Sorry if I am sounding like Mr Drivel our latest guest. At least with me its the drink talking and not my real brain-head.

[James]

Hi Layla,Great fun in manchester with the sport,Cheers ,James

[Crimpo]

Cornish Chris throwing AWAY a bottle opener - surely not!!!

But the fork sounds likely - a long drive for the poor lad and he's probably delirious with hunger