always get a 2nd opinion. O/T

[Lizard]

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tell the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it."
The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc".
The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis".
The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion".
The doctor replies: "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice".

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease".
The guy says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis?"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: "Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money, that way. No need to opelate!"
"Oh, Thank God!", the man replies.
"Yes", says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself! You save money"

[buttsie]

If your not a standup comic you should be
Lizard

cheers
B...OZ Pissing meself silly

[Magoogle's fallen off already]

In the circumstances 'stand up' is a rather expression, shurely.

[Magoogle's fallen off already]

unfortunate expression !

[buttsie]

Only to those who have a sexual connotation for everything shurely

cheers
B...OZ

[magoo (the real one)]

Whos that posting with my email above? Own up please. I realise imitation is sopposed to be the highest form of flattery. Those posts were not from me despite the email addy being similar or possibly identical to mine. The moderators will know who the scoundrel is! I dont mind if its just one of the regulars mucking around but I cant help thinking people pretending to be other forumites is misleading to people and a potential cause for disputes.

[magoo (the real one)]

Wasnt me BTW Buttsie but I agree Lizards joke was a good one!

[magoo (the real one)]

And the real magoo never spells "surely" with an "h" and normally never spells "supposed" with an o instead of a u except on this occasion. I think old Lizards been on the "herbal" tea again! Anyway I have to go to work now.

[buttsie]

I took no offence...thought it was a thought provoking statement
which it did

Didn't think it was you to be honest

Magoo to Magoogle...i don't think so


cheers
B...OZ

[Elton Dong]

Sorry if this crap joke has been posted...
A man go's to Hong Kong on a business trip to impress a new deal
the night before he meets the Chinese client he decides to visit a famous Hong Kong knocking shop......
Not speaking a word of Cantonese he picks a sexy looking chick and she takes him to her room, they start to shag ....
after a while she starts to scream 'chenhow' 'chenhow' and he thinks wow iam really good and she's lovin it 'chenhow' must mean 'your really good' 'your really good'.....
Anyway the next day as he go's to meet the client he thinks i know ill let him win and say 'chenhow' when he does that will impress and clinch the deal ....so on the last round trailing behind he lets the client win and shouts out loud
'chenhow' 'chenhow' to which to client turns to he's translator and says........
why does the stupid english man keep shouting
'Wrong hole' 'wrong hole'...........