A porn career coming back to haunt you years later

[Flat_Eric]

Guilbert: Thanks for sharing your story. I for one appreciate your candour.

I have to say this though: While I don't know the full ins & outs of your particular relationship beyond what you've told us here, on the basis of what you *have* told us I can't help but think that there's something of a NIMBY attitude creeping in there - a bit of the old double standards.

What I mean is, you openly admit that "I have always been attracted to porn" and were a regular sight in and around the red light districts of the world - and yet when you found out that your girlfriend had done a bit of porn in her younger day (before you even knew her), it knocked you for a burton.


Ellidh Bee: "I haven given up on men, as i have yet to meet one who can accept what i do for a living!"

... and yet they're all probably avid consumers. Highlights the double standards again.

- Eric

[Flat_Eric]

Dave Wells wrote:

>>


This sort of thing really does piss me off. Why should she be sacked for doing something that's perfectly legal?

Did she sign an undertaking in her contract of employment not to do any Internet porn? Because unless she did, surely she was unfairly dismissed? It's wrong, pure and simple.

Not only that - seems to me that either (a) her boss found the "evidence" himself - which begs the question what was he doing trawling bukakke sites? Or (b) one of her colleagues found it and then shopped her, which then raises the question what were *they* doing trawling bukakke sites?

I know of a similar case. A bloke I know back in the UK was sacked a few years ago for looking at Internet porn at work (nothing illegal - just 'glamour' sites and a bit of mainstream hardcore). I know that a lot of firms have rules against that sort of thing, and it was obviously bad judgement on his part to not wait until he got home.

But the bastards didn't just sack him - they also went to the local papers, and he found himself being 'named and shamed', and the subject of lurid "LOCAL MAN SACKED IN INTERNET PORN SCANDAL" headlines.

Consequently, all his friends and family found out about it. Including his ageing parents who were - by all accounts - devastated.

He's got his life back together now fortunately, and has another decent job. But to my mind that was simply unnecessary twisting of the knife by his former employers: Internal disciplining and / or a warning would have probably sufficed. Even 'just' a sacking was unnecessarily harsh in my opinion. But to go to the press as well ..... beggars belief.

- Eric

[Guilbert]

>I can't help but think that there's something of a NIMBY attitude
>creeping in there - a bit of the old double standards.

I dont deny it, and I hinted at it when I said that my addiction to porn ensured I would probably find the films on the internet sooner or later.

One of the problems is that the porn industry "labels" women in porn so badly. You see headlines like "see this whore take a mouthful of cum", or "see this slut take it up the arse". No mention of the men, it is always the women who are the whore or the sluts or the slags.

So if you are with a woman who has done porn these "labels" stick in your mind and I cant help comparing my wife with these porn "labels".

But also in our relationship a lot of the "problem" comes down to our different personalties. We have this strange "link" via porn which has affected both out lives for different reasons.

While I do like watching porn, I am also a very private person and almost nobody KNOWS I do this, except my current wife.

I am quite quiet, reserved, private, and like to keep myself to myself.

My wife on the other hand is a very outgoing person. She likes to go out with her femail friends dancing, go to a local hotel where they do "Take That " tribute nights and have a "bop", she also appears in local amateur dramatics.

But she also has her private side and loves spending hours in the garden, and we go for walks in the countryside and so on.

For most of my life I had a very good job so we now have a nice house and a large garden.

We get on very well as a couple (people talk about meeting your soulmate, well we both feel we have done that).

Our relationship works because I have given her what she wants such as security, nice house and garden, trustworthy partner etc (She has had some awful boyfriends in the past).

She has given me what I always wanted, my own sexy partner in the privacy of our bedroom. To "thank" me for all I have done for her she makes great efforts to ensure I really enjoy our sex together.

I enjoy being masturbated and she will often dress in sexy clothes and spend ages turning me on and masturbating me to a great orgasm.

She also enjoys being masturbated to orgasm and I am happy to "play" with her for 30 minutes or more to bring her to a huge crashing orgasm.

But every now and again I read something in the paper about perhaps porn movies, or see a scene in a film about the sex industry, that brings back everything she has done and I have great trouble coping with it.

So I agree, it is my "private" side that has great problems dealing with her "public" side from all those years ago.

But as I said, there is a great movie or TV play in there waiting to get out. How porn has affected two different people in two different ways. If Richard Curtis is reading this I am happy to talk to him. Maybe it could be calld "Porn Actually".

[Dave Wells]

I totally agree Eric but it doesn't or should I say didn't help her much did it.

I would say that although it is better than it was before we legalised things in 2000 it still carries a strange and utterly stupid and pointless stigma, that simply wouldn't happen in most other countries.

Britain (I don't use the Great bit) is a shithole full of arseholes - simple as that !

[vostok 1]

Here is an example thread of an early video coming back to haunt a model:

http://bgafd.co.uk/forum/read.php?f=3&i=115733&t=115733

[one eyed jack]

"I must have something wrong with me for doing that" (porn)

Thats the classic one!

Like there has to be something wrong with a man for having a hard dick and fucking women.

Whose to say there was nothing wrong with her????

This sex stuff is funny though eh? How weird we all get about the subject and all its variations on the same theme.

Thing is people in the biz are just as full of double standards as the so called "normals".