A porn career coming back to haunt you years later

[max_tranmere]

Has anyone heard of a case of this? The girl has given up porn, after making 50 or more movies over a two year period in her early-20's, she has cut ties with everyone she ever encountered in the biz, it is almost like she never did it really as she has so moved on now. Then, aged 30, she tries to get a job that involves being vetted for, and they will only take people who are squeeky-clean, and then her porn past gets discovered; or, years later, she's in a relationship and she reveals to her partner what she did in the past, or maybe he finds out some other way, and he dumps her; or maybe her parents and brothers and sisters, find out 10 years later (she kept it secret from them) and they have a massive falling out and never make it up again. It suggests that any girl who has ever done hardcore films will always worry, probably forever, that it may come back and haunt her. Anyone know of a case of this happening? I'm quite intrigued.

[Guilbert]

This has actually happened to me. This is a true story and you can find I have mentioned "parts" of this story over the years on these forums.

To be honest I think it would make a great film (written by Richard Curtis?).

I am in my late 50s, and up front I have to say I have always been attracted to porn. I have spent my whole life buying sex magazines and visiting porn shops and strip clubs all over the world. I started in Soho, but then travelled abroad a lot on business and visited the red light districts of San Francisco, New York, Hamburg, Paris, Copenhagen and many more.

Between about 1970 and 1980 I had a terrible first marriage (never should have married her but that is another story).

In around 1980 I met a girl at work (I was 29, she was in her mid 20s) and we hit it off straight away. I had never been unfaithful to my first wife but I started an affair with this girl.

Eventually I decided to leave my wife and move in with this girl.

As we got to know each other her "past" began to come to light, and it seems in her teenage years she had been a bit of a tearaway. She had left home after a huge row with her parents and got in with a bad crowd.

She had had a boyfriend who had been in prison, and this guy had also made porn films. I had my suspision she may have appeared in some herself.

Anyway in about 1981/82 I went to central London on business, and went round Soho to see if there was any sign of movies with this girl in.

I was shocked and very upset to find a movie with her in (this was in the days before video and it was an 8mm "stag" movie). I bought it and took it home with me to show her.

When I got home I showed her the movie and she broke down and admitted making 3 stag movies in the mid 1970s when she was 18.

More research by me found that these movies had been made by John Lindsay (who I had not heard of at the time) but he is of course one of the most famous uk porn movie makers.

continued...........

[max_tranmere]

Guilbert, that's interesting. If one lives in a town or city they are never more than about a mile away from a porn shop so if someone has a porn past their friends and family could easily see the cover of one of these things, if they are inclined to shop in such a place, or if a cousin or friend of a friend does and spots one of the films, then word will spread throughout the whole family. I remember the American pornstar Ginger Lynn, who was big in the 1980's, complaining "my photo was used on the cover of every film I ever starred in". This suggests that if it was more discrete, like she was in the films but not on the covers, then less people would have known. Her parents disowned her for about a year. She was one of the world's first pornstars so it was pretty heavy to be such a thing in the eyes of those around you - no one then had really considered that people could do such a thing - and Ginger was also into anal sex which most people had never tried, watched, or even considered before she made it popular. So all told, it was pretty heavy being in Ginger Lynn's shoes, and quite heavy to be in the shoes of any ex-pornstar.

[Guilbert]

more..........

Finding she had made porn movies put a HUGE strain on our relationship, the whole thing it really affected me, and I told her we had no future together.

But we got on really well, so it was difficult to know what to do (she was the only woman I had ever "loved"). Eventually she fell pregnant (unplanned) and I contemplated suicide (I already had children from my first marriage and wanted no more).

In this state I decided to do the "right" thing and marry her, which I did, but I still was not happy about things.

The baby was due around Christmas, but a few days before the birth the strain got to me and I had a nervous breakdown and went into hospital.

Our daughter was born on Christmas day (the first Christmas baby in the hospital) and a picture of mother and baby was in the local paper. The first time I saw my daughter it was a picture in the paper.

We stayed together, but the next few years were really up and down, sometimes I could cope, other times I went to pieces. As time wore on it slipped into the back of my mind and things got better.

Then the interent came along, and of course "vintage" porn became popular and the films she had made started to appear on the interent.

In about 2001 details about the films appeared on this BGAFD site (I even asked the administrator to remove some pictures) but that did not stop the films appearing on other sites.

I must admit my "addiction" to porn made it likely I would eventually see these films on the internet. Another person NOT addicted to porn may have been unaware of them, so it was partly my fault.

I told her that her movies were available on the interent for easy download, which obviously upset her after all these years (nearly 30 years after she made them).

We have now been married for over 23 years, and are still together. I have to say we still have a wonderful sex life (I wont go into details but we both really enjoy sex and we have a very active and exciting sex life).

Because I have always looked at porn and strippers I love looking at women and being teased, luckily she loves teasing me and gets turned on by it, and so we have a good sex life.

However I am still not over what she did (after 35 years) and it has affected me greatly. Sometimes I can cope, other times I get very depressed and upset (particularly that the films are still being watched today).

She is now in her 50s and works with children with special needs. She loves gardening, nature, the outdoors, and I am sure all the people she works with and who knows her would be staggered to find out what she did all those years ago.

So that is my story, and as I said, in the hands of a good writer it could be a fine film (I suppose Pretty Woman with Richard Gere comes close to it).

I suppose it serves as a warning to all women (and men I suppose) that what you are doing in sex films today could well surface when you are a grandmother or grandfather, but I guess some people may not be that bothered.

The End

[max_tranmere]

Very interesting Guilbert. I can think of one ex-pornstar who is quite well known for other things now and just carries on like it never happened. You get the impression she has told everyone and everyone is cool about it because to go around with a 'proud as you like' attitude it seems to suggest she is in no way bothered. I saw a doco on BBC recently about a girl, aged about 18, who was heavily into hard drugs and her mother supported her emotionally and tred to help her. Some parents would have flipped to such an extent, thrown their kid out of the house, and washed their hands of the whole thing. So there are people who would be so afraid to lose touch with their offspring, if they freaked on them and damned them for what they did (be it porn, drugs, whatever), that they would warm to them more than they would be hard on them - out of fear of losing them - so for some a porn past wouldn't matter to close famiily. Might matter in relationships later though and I'm certain women will tell a partner years later because to have a close loving relationship with someone means you always open up about everything and even if you know if may cause problems you will still feel guilty if you did NOT open up.

[Dave Wells]

A swinging couple I know have a quite recent example of this. She loves cum and decided to do a bukkake shoot and someone from her work found the 'evidence' and the poor lass was sacked - her one and only visit into pornoland. So now she does em privately !

[planeterotica]

I think years ago a girl could maybe get away with appearing in a porno without being noticed but not today with the internet and R18s being legal, but the industry has changed and todays girls are so upfront about what they do and most want to be noticed , and now that most people have a camcorder i expect there is a lot of amateur material out there we have yet to see but one day will come to the surface !wink!

[one eyed jack]

Very interesting thread you started here Max.

What Ive never understood is the guy who knowingly gets involved with a girl who has done porn in her past then has issues when he is in with her...Whats wrong with dealing with someone on the here and now and letting her past affect your future?

If anything it says something about the insecurity of those men and the instability of their relationship. So the best option is to split, but then why get involved inthe first place?

My first foray with a girl who did porn was when i wasnt even in porn and she chatted me up, then 3 months into our "relationship" she wakes me up in the middle of the night with a confession that she was on the game.

I was more pleased that she was honest with me. Iasked if she wanted to talk about it and she said no and went right back to sleep.

Just like that. Thing is even back then I knew it was something in her past but went right back into it big time later that year and then went onto being a full out and out speed junkie turning tricks from a card in the local telephone box. I suspect she was still doing it and opted out quick because I was paranoid of catching something (its notlike she was tested every month like people who do adult)

Tragic..But then I learned there are some people you cannot save because they have to want to save themselves first.

[Harry Hardon]

Ellidh / Sarah

It's not just men who have issues with being a 'porn past'.

I remember a few years ago I was getting very close to a woman (both in our late 20s) and we are having one of those 'what's the naughtiest thing you've done' conversations.

So I say I've appeared in a few porn videos - usually group stuff - and she was shocked. We carried on for a bit longer but almost every time we met she quizzed me upon it and then turned round and said I must have sometime wrong with me for doing that.

At the time, I was single and made sure I got tested - so no one was harmed emotionally or physically.

Now I'm very wary of who I mention this stuff to and almost have come to the conclusion the only women I can open up to are models who won't jugde you.

Shame I haven't found the 'one' yet.

HH