Porn distribution in the UK

[Up and coming porn king]

Hi Im planning on making some Hardocore porn films and Im looking to get them distributed so that everyone world wide can see my wares.

Face it, youre reading the words of the new ben dover.


So does anyone have any advice for me?

Email me with any suggestions, thanks

[jumper]

Up and coming porn king wrote>
Face it, youre reading the words of the new ben dover.
does this mean you have not cut your hair for years, and have your hand stuck up a baybe emu arse??

[Up and coming porn king]

I didnt say I was the new rod hull.

Im the NEW ben dover.

Hes needed an overhaul and a haircut for the last 20 years!

Sorry ben but even though I love your work I have no respect for your hair. Or the fact that you have girls piss on you, I mean Id piss on girls for money if I had to, but when you have to have girls piss on you just to get excited it means you are jaded and you need some time away from the business...

[Richard]

well if your the new Brit porn king you should have everything you need and your asking for advice ......... methinks that one is being a bit of a prat and that thou should seriously take a crash course in learning how to hold a camera.

There endeth this advice.

[jj]

Dear Aspirant Videographer:
a) Do time for your Art;
b) Develop healthy sense of self-ridicule;
c) Do not suffer fools gladly, including yourself;
d) Be nice about/to the people you work with,
and in twenty years or so you MAY be nearly as good as Ben.
[BTW, any resemblance between Ben and Rod Hull is purely coincidental, and should not be the subject of malicious gossip.]
Yours
Samuel L Goldwyn

[magoo]

Its not Rod Hull that Ben looks like anyway. Its Keith Harris. So any mention of Emu is irrelevant. As Kieth had his hand up a baby duck called Orville so forget about sodding Emu and concentrate on Orville.

And Mr "Up and Comeing" dont be so bigheaded. How do you know your stuff will even sell until you have it on the shelves? And also regarding the pissing thing you should learn to understand that everyone has there own sexual likes and dislikes and we should all be grown up enough to accept that.

[woodgnome]

sam goldwyn's real name was sam goldfish.

mgm - metro goldfish mayer!

[porn fan]

Dear up and coming Ben Dover type- If you're gonna take over from the real Ben Dover and you rate yourself better than the great one- then where's your efforts? Huh? HUH!? It's all well and good turning out one sterling effort, but the name of the game is consistency.

You'll have to earn your stripes. I'm sure in every aspiring adult film makers mind, they all think their Gods gift to porn but in reality...Ah yes, the reality- it's tough making a good movie unless you know what the hell you are doing. Don't forget, it takes people skills to get the best out of the girls and boys...Or did you forget that?

Who knows, you may even be all that and then some...Time will tell if you are any good or maybe just a load of hot air.

Besides, why do you want to be the new Ben Dover. Be yourself.
Cat scratches aside, I on behalf of everyone here wish you the best of luck and wait to be bowled over by your efforts.

[bagpipe]

Blimey! Every now and then, someone comes onto the forum and boasts: 'I am going to make the best porno ever.'

But we never ever see it.

Why not make something first and then claim it to be the best porno ever? I think we know why.

Talk is very, very cheap.

[Remington Steel]

To make a porno movie, easy. To sell a porno movie, hard. That's where Ben has excelled, he made a good product and he sold it well.