Another Joke..

[Lizard]

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.
Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West in his day.
The young cowboy took the seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.
The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a lil' lower down on your leg."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"Sure will." said the old-timer.
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.
"That's terrific!" said the cowboy, "Got any more tips for me?"
"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.
"You bet it will," said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player.
"Wow!" said the cowboy. "I'm learning' somethin' here. Got any more tips?"
The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."
The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.
"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"Nope." said the old timer, "But when Wyatt Earp gets done playin' the piano, he's going to shove that gun right up your ass, and it won't hurt as much."

[Editor's note]

This joke first appeared in the London Gazette for the 16th January 1888.
Coincidentally, Jack the Ripper began murdering prostitutes round this time, a cholera epidemic broke out in London, and 4 000 natives were killed in Sind Province during a typhoon........

[steve56]

and theres me thinking bob monkhouse or jimmy tarbuck told it to lizard.

[Shaun?]

The editor speaks with confidence as he was a little boy then and still has a copy of the paper he bought with his pocket money )

[jj]

Monkhouse wrote it: in 1887.

[buttsie]

Lizard-last of the dinosaurs

That would explain it

cheers
B....OZ OK Corral...Piss Funny

[steve56]

all right b.c.ing you bring back t rex.

[jj]

I was even there when the chicken crossed the road.
Buggered if I can remember why: my memory ain't what it used to be......