Bad day at black rock

[Lizard]

This morning whilst going about my business, I was pulled over by her majesty,s finest for speeding in my shiny car, do you know why we have stopped you? they said! yes I retorted, my cars a lot nicer than yours and your both twats, so 2 reasons! I thought that was fair enough......
and it,s only Monday, fuck.

U>

[derek]

The first ladder I climbed up was down a well.

[Caractacus]

I find that being overly polite and grateful to them confuses the hell out of the boys in blue.

"Do you know your rear brake light isn't working?"
"No, but you hum it and I'll join in at the chorus."
Result: down the nick.

"Do you know your rear brake light isn't working?"
"Really? Oh, thanks a lot for telling me, I'll get that seen to right away. Cheers!"
Result: on your way, leaving behind puzzled plods.

[Ace]

Well apart from shagging one of their own...............
I was pulled for NO reason other than they were bored and asked if I'd been drinking which I hadn't. I was asked to blow into a bag, to which I replied 'Why? Are your chips cold?'
When you are in the right, you DO fancy your chances!!

[steve56]

i recall wen george best was pulled up wen asked to blow in to this bag?he replied i dont do blowjobs.

[A Penguin...or two]

..iss always the Mondays you have to watch out fer.
Good film, though.
And possibly the best actor ever?
Even without that nassssssssssssssty wife of his............

[jj scared]

Next time they'll spank you, though......you forgot that they don't like smartarses........

[jj scared]

Instant death.

[derek]

Surely it would be 'why are your chips hot'!!!