New Career!!!

[Lizard]

I think I might have found my new vocation, instead of stacking shelves, I have decided to turn my hand to writing gripping novels, you know like Archer and Rowlin, and er ....Tolstoy etc, anyway Iv,e enclosed a sample of my efforts, and your feedback would be welcome, please dont even think about stealing it, I have patened it at the co-op solicitors and they is watching.


Reg knew how to show a girl a good time, as he eased back on the throttle of the green Vauxhall Nova to let a cyclist pass. He allowed himself a wry smile...

Out of all the guys in Luton she had chosen him! He checked his appearance in the mirror. Apart from the cold sores around his top lip and the sweat pouring from his chin, he was in cracking form!

He stopped outside no.36 - no going back now! She answered the door, dressed to kill, white stilletto's and a face like an angel.

"Where we off then Reg? I'm starving!"

"Surprise!" said Reg and with that they climbed into the Nova and he gunned her down the High St.

He did a left at the Oxfam shop and passed the Gaylord take away. As the sign came into view, he watched for a reaction!

"Mcdonalds!" she screamed with delight.

"Only the best for you Shar..."

As they approached the electronic ordering machine, Reg felt a damp feeling on his hip.

"Shit! Me bag's gone!" he thought. "No time to panic."

He ordered two quarter pounder meals and two shakes, as he drove to the collect window. It was all starting to go horribly wrong. The acrid smell of piss rose up from the seat, steam and gas encapsulating the Nova's cockpit. The rancid odour of stale urine filled the air.

"It's no good. I'll have to tell her... Er, Shar?"

Before he could speak, she placed her doll like fingers on his cold, sore lips.

"Dont say anything Reg" she uttered. "I understand. After all, I am a genito-urinary nurse and we dont exactly earn a fortune!"

"Eh?" He said.

"It's the money, isn't it?" she purred. "Your skint aren't you? Well don't worry. It's my treat.

He nearly shat himself.

To be continued...

[proofread by interfering mod]

[Wink Wink]

Quick some publisher sign him up now.....pure Booker prize material.

Can't wait til your first apperance on the Terry & Gabby show on Channel 5 plugging your best seller!!

[Pervert]

Almost Dickensian in its indictment of the health service in this country.

Almost Shavian in its biting wit and satirical summation of modern society.

Almost Archerian in its prose style.

Almost Higginsian in its readability.

Feel free to use any of the above quotes for press releases, Liz.

[jj]

Can't wait for the next gripping instalment.


[See? I can write fiction too......]

[jj]

Archerian? Nah: not enough adverbs and car-chases.
Cooksonian, I'd say, the downtrodden as hero.

[jj]

Now don't go on about bloody rivets again.

[Deuce Bigolo]

Thats better than anything Ben Elton has ever written-bookwise

Today the forum

Tomorrow Eurovision Short Stort Reading

Reminds me of Ripping Yarns? or some such like

cheers
B....OZ

[Pervert]

Across The Andes By Lizard, perchance?