Holden's Thoughts For The Day

[Holden MacGroyn]

THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY:

13. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway

12. Life is sexually transmitted

11. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection make him a sandwich

9. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks

8. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but

you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs

7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing

6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again

5. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism

4. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred pound and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty pence?

3. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal

2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come
to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first

AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

1. You read about all these Terrorists. Most of them came here legally,
but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15
years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a
video and those people are all over you. I think we should put
Blockbuster in charge of immigration & Homeland Security



Two fish swim into a concrete wall.

One turns to the other and says "dam"

[Pervert]

Blockbusters only became prominent following the collapse of the eastern bloc, which makes me think there are a number of former spooks employed there.

Good points, well made, Holden. Consider yourself free from any bike-related jibes for the next three weeks as a reward.

[Deuce Bigolo]

Looks like you've been straining the cranium

Classic...will just scribble them all down me arm so i can peel a few off
after 10 pints of guiness...being St Patricks day Downunder and all

Then I'll pose me standard question which really hurts the brain

If its a penny for your thoughts why does everybody have to put their 2 cents in?

cheers
B....OZ

[nosey]

Hey, surely you can't celebrate St. Patrick's before it is his day in the Emerald Isle?????????????? LOL

[Deuce Bigolo]

In Sydney thye now Celebrate St Patricks Week

Started Sunday our Aussie time

Commercialism it knows no bounds

In fact i'd say Australia has more Irish pubs than Ireland
If they've got Guiness on tap they call themselves an Irish Pub-Pure baloney IMHO

cheers
B....OZ

[Deuce Bigolo]

There will always be those that find offence at something

Smells of free publicity seeking for mine to push their own agendas

We've had similar things said about Australia day(or as the Aborigines call it-Invasion day).They have a point but what the alternative is no one can really say.Either way someone will be offended

Best just to drink to much Guiness(or as I did last night...Harp 10 Pints)
and leave the momentous issues to the politically correct

All i will say about the Shamrock is that the issue is very clear and those that objected were obviously thinking negatively.I liken it to people who have nothing in their lives and just look for something to slag off

I good example of doing something positive would be how our Aboriginal
people felt about the Australian flag and what it represented-Colonial Tyranny.

Instead of asking for the flag to be changed they made their own
Pretty simple solution

As for the Australia day(Invasion day) thats still under review with no real solution yet reached

cheers
B....OZ

[nosey]

While on the subject of the Irish here is a joke I read on Monday last.
An Englishman, a Scotsmsn and an Irishman are in their local Disco, when the subject arises about how far back in their memories can they recall things. The Englishman says I can remember being pushed in my pram. The Scotsman says I can remember the midwife smacking my ass to make me cry. The Irishman then says I can remember coming here with my Dad but going home with my Mother. lol

[jj]

.......and if little girls are made of sugar and spice, why do they taste like fish?
And if Typhoo put the 'T' in Britain, who put the 'cunt' in Scunthorpe?