And Jesus Did Say.....

[Holden MacGroyn]

[img]http://www.banthis.com/rickisgay/thehand.jpg[/img]

[Pervert]

Holy inappropriate, Batman!

Love it!

[Holden MacGroyn]

The good fing baat yoof street feetar iz dat it only las fo laak too minits an dats nuff time man coz den me can get to me deela dat bit kwiker.

Actually, I hate street theatre as it's done by Ox-Bridge nobs who think it really is cutting edge and worthy of a half hour slot on late night C4.
"OK ya like, it's the entire bible in 5 minutes using contemporary characters like you know, the gay one from Big Brother, Posh Spice, Graham Norton and Trevor MacDonald. We think the kids will relate to it more, besides, how do we know that they weren't smoking marijuana back then?"

Ox-bridge, I shit em.

Bishop High Father Lord Cannon Sir Right Rev. Mr Holden MacGroyn (B.Sc.....bronze swimming certificate)
High Order Of Amanda Dawkins Worship.

[Holden MacGroyn]

When I was at school, we had some wankers turn up and do a puppet thing.
Now you have to understand that at 7, puppets mean muppets or at least some fat balding slag with a wooden dummy on his lap and plenty of references to "Gottle of Gear."

This troop, troupe....wankers, wore black and stood right behind the puppets and moved them all over the shop.
At 7 you have a hard time suspending belief that far.

"Just pretend the people in black are not really there."
"Yeah but Sir, they are!"
"Yes but pretend they're not"
"But Sir their lips are moving."
"Holden, see me after school."
(Nowadays that last line would be "Holden see me after school once I have sent a letter to your parents and you turn up with a responsible adult and I have someone in my corner who will make sure that I don't abuse my position as cryst old wanker Headmaster.")


Anyway, The Muppets ruled and Animal was by far the most talented.
Although Meeper did have an individual idiosynchractic approach to the whole esotericeclesiasticanachronistic slant of Muppet Vs The Church.

[Holden MacGroyn]

Very true sir.

As for Meeper/Beaker.
I fucking knew that.
You only did that to come across all la de da and hoighty toighty in your Muppetness.
Anyway, see us Eastend folk, we created the word mate.
You fakin' Muppet. Know what I mean.

Actually, nobody says "No what I mean" unless they are in some Guy slag Richie film or in Albert Square.
That's the only place in the world where people bump into each other every 2 seconds.
It's a miracle they ever reach their destinations.

How many times have you heard the following.
"Alright Pat, I was just on me way to the car lot."
"Alright Phil, I was just on me way to the arches."
"Alright Kat, I was just on me way to Little Mo's"
"Alright Bruv, I was just on me way to the Vic."
"Alright Pauline, just on me way to the laundrette"

No more locations. Game over.

"Alright Alfie, just on me way to the Kebab shop."
"We aint got a kebab shop!"
"Fuckin' 'ell! Naa wot we gonna do?"

DUM DUM DUM DADADADA DUM
IT'S ALL BOLLOCKS.