Attention Holden

[Lizard]

Can you please stop sending me your used underpants thru the post, and stop stalking me, I DONT fancy you, get it into your head, my G/F (Dwayne) is also suspicious, and it,s causing me grief, go and mither someone more deserving..say.......Mart, he needs someone to fantasise about, Oh! and that 4lb tub of vaseline you sent, has been re-directed to Magoo,s house, anyway dude, I still love you, just not in the way you think, people can be friends you know, without the sticky stuff getting involved, have a good xmas, and keep away from Clapham common.

[Holden MacGroyn]

But Liz, you didn't say any of that last weekend.
In fact you told me I meant more to you than Moagoo and that you was going to stop seeing him in the toilets of The Slag & Chav.

Dem woz all lies innit.

Safe. Me still love your T's guy and I nose you iz wantin some rood bwouy luv.

As for Mart, he is far too butch to indulge in any light banter of the cloaca thieving kind.


Puppetry of the penis?
More like Banditry of the Arse.


Be cool.