Welsh Valley's Earthquake Appeal

[Cerberus]

Just found this whilst surfing...........

Gilfach earthquake appeal.
A major earthquake measuring 7.8 on the Richter scale hit during the early hours of 24 march 2005, Epicentre was Gilfach Goch, South Wales.
Victims could be seen wandering aimlessly muttering, "How be?" "Tidy" and "can't fault it butty". The earthquake devastated the area causing approximately ?18.75 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of momentos from Porthcawl and Cardiff jail were destroyed.

Three areas of historical and scientifically significant burnt out cars were disturbed.. Many people were woken well before their giros arrived.

Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting happened in the valley.

One resident Sarah Angharad Jones, a 15 year old mother of 3 said "it was a shock at first; I thought it was the bailiffs, and then little
Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom and nearly woke up the guy from the housing benefits office. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Jade-Storm slept through it. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next day".

Fortunately the residents have been able to carry on looting, mugging and stealing cars as before.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to fly in vital medical supplies such as Amphetamine Sulphate, Strongbow and Zantac. Rescue workers
are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth
Duke at Argos and fine bone china from Hyper value.
How can I help ?
This appeal is to collect clothing and food parcels as well as money for those unfortunate to be caught up in it. Clothing items sought
include Fila caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his n hers) white sport socks, Nike air basketball boots and any items usually on sale at
"Anything for a pound".

Food items required include microwave meals, tinned baked beans, pot
noodles, ice cream, cans of Special brew and Diamond white.
What will my donations provide ?
?2 will buy chip scrimps and blue pop for a family of four.
?10 can take a family of seven to Port Talbot for the day, where children can play on a radioactive beach in front of the national collection of steelworks.
?1.99 buys a rover bus ticket for the head of the household to travel to the countryside to pick magic mushrooms for the whole family.
22p buys a biro pen to fill in a loan crisis form from the DSS.
Important! Please under no circumstances send tents, as the sight of 'posh' housing could upset the neighbouring areas of Trebanog and Tonyrefail, and this may cause rioting in these areas.
Thank You.

[mart]

Last time it was Swansea

and it wasn't very funny that time either.

Mart

[Cerberus]

Well, pardon me I'm sure!
Are we now supposed to trawl the forum for year old posts?
I didn't write it!
Having watched a recent TV documentary it carries a modicum of truth that I personally found mildly amusing or does this now brand me as a racist bigot?
N.B. Please thoroughly check the forum archives before considering a response.

[mart]

Hoity toity!!!!

Mart

[Pervert]

It has done the rounds in various forms over the years, but is always worth revisiting for a smile. Cheers, Cerberus.

[Cenobitez]

Last one i heard was the United Estates of Wythenshawe (North Manchester)