Best Man Speech

[texaspete]

Hi,

I need either a good opening gag for a speech I've got to do...everyone knows the stanard ones:

"A good speech should only last as longas it takes the groom to make love/being best man is a bit like making love the queen etc etc"

So I need something slightly more original, and if possible near the knuckle. Something involving Michael Barrymore and swimming pools would be suitably controversial.

I also could do with a decent gag about marriage rather than the usual old shite.

A virtual pint to anyone who comes up with the winner!

CHeers
Pete

[mr.dj]

I best manned my bros wedding... i opened with "i'd like to thank my brother for choosing me as his best man, and thank Shelley for allowing him to!!"

know its not great but got a chuckle!!

!laugh!

cheers

!drink!

mr.dj

[Jacques]

texaspete wrote:

> Something involving Michael Barrymore and
> swimming pools would be suitably controversial.


Would anyone smoking during my speach please do as Michael Barrymore does and put your fags out in the pool?

[texaspete]

Lol! They'll not thank me for it, but that could just be the one!!

[Jacques]

Weddings are like pantomimes. Fortunately this one doesn't have Michael Barrymore in it which is just as well as he has already done Alladin.

[texaspete]

Keep em coming my friend!

[mr.dj]

.... its typical we're missing barrymores tv comeback today....

he's got a new series of "only pools n corpses"

cheers

!drink!

mr.dj

[texaspete]

All good efforts so far!!

[Jacques]

Before the speaches I have some breaking news......Michael Barrymore has been found dead with chocolate all around his arsehole.....Police believe that George Michael was careless with a wispa

[Jacques]

Today is the best event since Strike it lucky was on a sunday night with Michael Barrymore when he was straight & married.