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Hi,

I need either a good opening gag for a speech I've got to do...everyone knows the stanard ones:

"A good speech should only last as longas it takes the groom to make love/being best man is a bit like making love the queen etc etc"

So I need something slightly more original, and if possible near the knuckle. Something involving Michael Barrymore and swimming pools would be suitably controversial.

I also could do with a decent gag about marriage rather than the usual old shite.

A virtual pint to anyone who comes up with the winner!

CHeers
Pete

I best manned my bros wedding... i opened with "i'd like to thank my brother for choosing me as his best man, and thank Shelley for allowing him to!!"

know its not great but got a chuckle!!

!laugh!

cheers

!drink!

mr.dj

texaspete wrote:

> Something involving Michael Barrymore and
> swimming pools would be suitably controversial.


Would anyone smoking during my speach please do as Michael Barrymore does and put your fags out in the pool?

Lol! They'll not thank me for it, but that could just be the one!!

Weddings are like pantomimes. Fortunately this one doesn't have Michael Barrymore in it which is just as well as he has already done Alladin.

Keep em coming my friend!

.... its typical we're missing barrymores tv comeback today....

he's got a new series of "only pools n corpses"

cheers

!drink!

mr.dj

All good efforts so far!!

Before the speaches I have some breaking news......Michael Barrymore has been found dead with chocolate all around his arsehole.....Police believe that George Michael was careless with a wispa

Today is the best event since Strike it lucky was on a sunday night with Michael Barrymore when he was straight & married.