Scientology

[Pervert]

Just joined this great church recently, and it's great. I couldn't wait to share with you all how great it is. Okay, they demand 10% of your yearly income, but it's cheap at half the price, and I'd willingly let them have both my legs, the keys to my house, the keys to my parents' house, a controlling interest in all my children, and first option on my dog, Rascal.

Did I mention how great it is? An absolute killer, man.

(PS----can I sleep now, please)

[fudgeflaps]

I've joined too.

Your tariff is a bargain, you jammy bugger!!!

I went to my nearest Scientology retailer (just beside Phones4u in the Forge retail park), and they want HALF of my yearly income- I didn't even get the free marriage bolt-on package!!

They also wanted first option on your dog, Rascal- that seems to be a mandatory statement on all Scientology paperwork.

I just wnated to join for the marriage stuff- to see if you really did exchange a fire-extinguisher and a kettle as part of the marriage vows. That said, they gave me vouchers for Homebase to procure these for any impending weddings I may have on the go.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now belt the bride with the kettle............."

[Pervert]

They said all the good brides had already been taken, by their Hollywood branch, but promised me I was on the shortlist for Janet Street Porter.

Rascal isn't speaking to me any more.

[Pervert]

Would this be the Church of the Immaculate Hex?

[Pervert]

I can think of worse objects of worship. If I hadn't already been brainwashed by the Scients, I'd consider devoting myself to her.

What were the tenets of your religion, BT?

[Pervert]

No problem. Your anonymity is safe.