egafd.com

Just joined this great church recently, and it's great. I couldn't wait to share with you all how great it is. Okay, they demand 10% of your yearly income, but it's cheap at half the price, and I'd willingly let them have both my legs, the keys to my house, the keys to my parents' house, a controlling interest in all my children, and first option on my dog, Rascal.

Did I mention how great it is? An absolute killer, man.

(PS----can I sleep now, please)

I've joined too.

Your tariff is a bargain, you jammy bugger!!!

I went to my nearest Scientology retailer (just beside Phones4u in the Forge retail park), and they want HALF of my yearly income- I didn't even get the free marriage bolt-on package!!

They also wanted first option on your dog, Rascal- that seems to be a mandatory statement on all Scientology paperwork.

I just wnated to join for the marriage stuff- to see if you really did exchange a fire-extinguisher and a kettle as part of the marriage vows. That said, they gave me vouchers for Homebase to procure these for any impending weddings I may have on the go.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now belt the bride with the kettle............."

They said all the good brides had already been taken, by their Hollywood branch, but promised me I was on the shortlist for Janet Street Porter.

Rascal isn't speaking to me any more.

Would this be the Church of the Immaculate Hex?

I can think of worse objects of worship. If I hadn't already been brainwashed by the Scients, I'd consider devoting myself to her.

What were the tenets of your religion, BT?

No problem. Your anonymity is safe.