Weddings - What A Pain In The Ring

[Sam Slater]

Gonne be best man at my mates wedding in 4 weeks.

Everything funny I know about him is either gonna upset his new bride, or his/her parents.

I'm at a loss.

[Pervert]

The cardinal rule is that it is their day, and anyone giving a speech should remember that when sharing anecdotes.

Don't take my word for it. The mother or father of the bride, and the parents of the groom, usually corner the best man before the reception and gently remind him of that fact

[Lizard]

Awful timing Maggs, why is she so insistant on this saturday? is she up the duff, or can it be that she has a big dowery and the husband to be cant wait to get his hands on it, fucking outrageous, has she taken your feelings into consideration? No! thought not, wait till she has a sprog and it needs babysitting, then it's payback time...free booze, sarnies, and total control of the TV, dont leave any porn in the DVD player though this time..

[Sam Slater]

I could get my pecker out. That'll get a few laughs; it usually does.

[Pervert]

But can you afford to provide opera glasses for all the assembled guests? You have to think these things through, Sam.

[Sam Slater]

Sounds like the words of a man experienced with such an eventuality!

[Pervert]

Nothing worse than dropping your kegs to give everyone a laugh---and no one notices.

[Snake Diamond]

magoo wrote:

> Got to go to my sisters wedding on saturday. Totally ruined my
> plans for the weekend which were sitting in front of the telly
> and drinking beer.

> She is just so inconsiderate. I feel sorry for the groom having
> to put up with her. I also feel sorry for him having to put it
> up her....(laughter)

Is she that bad looking, or just cause of the bitching he'll get later on in life ???

> Do you think I should maybe drop that remark from the speech?
> Have I gone to far?

> She is an arse though.

I thought an Ass (Arse) was a cross tween a Horse & a Donkey? I may be wrong though, & it might have jumped to humans now, LOL.