Masturbation Jokes - heard any worth remembering

[Deuce Bigolo]

A guy joined the army, and during his induction, the Seargent was explaining that everything in the army is done by numbers, and gave this example of going for a piss.
Number 1 - unzip fly
number 2 - remove penis
number 3 - pull back foreskin
number 4 - piss
number 5 - push back foreskin
number 6 - replace penis
number 7 - zip fly

A short while later the Seargent was passing the latrines when he heard one of the new recruits saying 3 - 5 - 3 - 5 - 3 - 5 ..............

[planeterotica]

I manage 1-4 -6 and the rest is just a memory !love!

[planeterotica]

planeterotica wrote:

> I manage 1-4 -6 and the rest is just a memory !love!
>
>
>
planeterotica wrote: That should be 1-4-7 its the Whisky !love!

[Deuce Bigolo]

you might want to replace those zippers with Velcro unless you like your hotdog with the skin removed

[Arginald Valleywater]

Few good jokes, just the odd off the cuff remark.