Free Semen Sample

[Daz Savage]

Okay, Snow Patrol had a go so now it's my turn...
Ahem...

Roll up ladies for the chance of a lifetime!
I am Fat, forty and bald with absolutely no experience in the industry and such little understanding of anything whatsoever (or perhaps have no respect for what you do) that I am prepared to offer you a sample of my nut-semolina for absolutely no charge at all!

Yes indeed you lucky ladies... NO FEE.
You may keep my ball-butter for as long as you wish - to treasure for ever, to smear on your skin or indeed to quaff with a Bailey's chaser!
That's right my darlings, you may do anything you with with my valuable, rare and precious cock-slush including giving it away to those less fortunate and making yourself seem beautiful and kind and in so doing, improving your social status.
That is how truly powerful the gift of love-snot can be. I will give mine to you and you can choose to increase that act of free giving!

But hold on to your labia ladies because that's not all!
Book me for a free albino-tadpole-smoothie today and receive this totally free gift of a used condom to display it in!
Yes, proudly pin this wretched item above your mantelpiece and watch your friends turn green with envy (well green anyway). Alternatively pin it over the door at Xmas so that your visitors may kiss under this rather fetching mistletoe substitute! You could even mix it into the figgy-pudding mix and witness the delight of the lucky diner who pulls the sodden article from their throats!

To be lucky enough to live such a heady new lifestyle all you need do is offer your aching body to me and I will do the rest - FOR NO CHARGE AT ALL.
Post & Packaging ?150.00

This offer won't last for ever...
So come on, what are you waiting for?

This offer brought to you by the Franklin Mint. (mint condoms division).

[kiNky erOtica]

This is what I like about this forum.
The expert advice...
The helping hand...
Sorry... Er...
The piss take...
The sarcasm...
The slagging off...

Yeh I'm I fucking nobody who's worked for pretty much fucking nobody and I keep my head down and get on with life plus I've taken some pretty decent pictures for the last 8 years and worked with some pretty damn fine models!
But if I needed a helping hand I can tell you hand on heart this would be the last place on the net I would ask for it.
No wonder I keep telling myself call it a day.

[Daz Savage]

Woah...
Hang on a moment... nobody's having a go at you there mate.
Personally I like you and your work and think you're at the top of your game.
What I am taking the piss out of is the regular newbie who acts like a camera is all he needs in order to get girls taking their clothes off for him.
What I'm trying to do is highlight - using satire - one of the pitfalls for new girls who may think this is the way forward.

We've had two new guys on the forum this week, I have offered both a tip or two.
One guy sounds just right, he admits he is new and makes it clear he wants help with his folio and seems to want to treat any TFCD work as a partnership where both can learn and both can get some reward for the time and effort.
The other made it sound like he was doing the world a favour by offering his time for free... and when people sounded-off in their replies he didn't respond with emails to them to ask for tips - as I certainly offered...
No, he simply started a new thread offering the same thing again.

I'm all for giving a helping hand to people as many individuals here will attest but I refuse to help someone who may very well have the kind of attitude that will do harm to someone they work with and in my opinion someone who thinks they can simply gate-crash this industry is a worry.
Would you send your girlfriend off to someone like that - I know I wouldn't?

The other newbie however can photograph my missus for free whenever he likes!

[Daz Savage]

[Daz Savage]

The threads concerned in this moan are:



Just so everyone knows what the hell I'm on about

[laralatex]

I applaud you for how many different ways you didn't just say 'spunk'!

However, I think you're missing a trick in that the girls should of course be with you and 'tug the todger' themselves. Otherwise how would we know that it is in deed your semen??? I do not wish to be fobbed off with some second rate jism belonging to someone else. !teacher!

Perhaps I could be the first to try this 'adjusted' service??

I would happily pay ?150 for this privilege!

!laugh!

[RoddersUK]

Fergit ?150 Lara, I'll do it for a couple of pints, and I aint far away from Eastbourne, being in Brighton. As long as Jim records the deed.

[kiNky erOtica]

So some maybe wondering why I choose to defend a newbie asking for as he puts it 'free shots and you (the model) get to keep the content'
I'm not saying this guy is genuine but he maybe and he may not know the expression TFP or TFCD - as someone replied to his post they would work for TFCD - same thing in my book TFCD or 'you get the shots', what the difference you get them either way - right?

You see this forum has a knack of putting every new person down, yet the experts are just as bad as my story will tell.

8 years ago on my 3rd shoot, I did a shoot of a girlfriend (maybe wife) of a published known photographer. Back then there was no BGAFD and I for one did not know and would have no reason to research if I did know what a 'model release' was.
So I did the shoot and put 8 pictures on a forum.
Next thing I get an email demanding ?1000 pounds per photo and court action of the digital millennium rights act! Obviously as I was a newbie I was shocked, and somewhat threatened by this... And the emails kept on coming demanding money, despite my apology of explaining I did not know what a model release was. Still the emails kept coming. So I contacted a legal budy who told me to ask certain things that would quosh his little extortion plan.
Well after a time and more threatening emails I chose just to ignore him... And he stopped.
Basically he knew I didn't have a clue and thought he could take me for a ride. Thats a PRO for you!

So my point is just cos he's a newbie or an expert, there are people in both places out to con you.. Just more often (99%) it's the newbie who gets it in the neck as everyone believes an expert...

Oh I've spoke 2 models this year, one who never got and one waited 3 months to get her TFCD shots after excuse after different excuse...
Yeh you got it both Fucking Expert photographers!

I'm now done with explaining this and will now go back to my humble quiet self under my rock...

[Daz Savage]

Yes but the point I am making is not to care for new photographers as much as it is to look out for the inexperienced models who may end up, as you have said, on the shitty end of the stick due to being convinced into working with someone who claims to be more than he is!

As I said, I offered him some advice and he simply began a new thread... I don't trust that in someone who admits they are new.